Let’s take a ride (featuring 1967 Shelby GT500 A. K. A- The cloud factory): Today is starting off to be a wonderfully beautiful day. The cold morning air is rich with both oxygen and moisture, which smells like the recipe for power to me! As I, Sandra Sandpile, am waiting to watch the sun rise, while the birds sing. I then drifted off into a time and a place of past excitement and adventure. It was a beautiful spring morning and I was waiting for my ride to work (I didn’t have a car then).
All of a sudden, a rare and beautiful 1967 Shelby GT500 with a 4 on-the-floor, BB427ci 2v OHV 4BL double-pumper 750 Holly pulled up in front of my house with its cams loping away. At the engines idling speed, it sounded similar to that of the SpongeBob Square-Pants victory screech, but with a little more testosterone. As I approached the car, it seemed as if time had slowed down. The driver of the car was just staring at the windshield, repeatedly honking his horn. I entered the car with a feeling of disconcertment and said “Hi, my name is Sandra, and you? He then responded by saying that he was a man by the name of Arnold Weinerschnitzel.
It was obvious to me that the huffy-puffy cigar man had a deluded sense of reality. He, for some reason believed that he was a terminator who was on a mission to save John Conner! Man, it was intensely scary, and let my neck tell you, he had one heavy foot! Our journey lasted the entire day and action seized every moment of it! The roar of that engine was as mighty as can be and the torque generated by the 7. 0 V8, made people with Botox injections look like amateurs! The spontaneity of that engine was on a scale of unbelievable proportion.
Its engine sounded similar to that of a symphony orchestra composed of cannons, tanks, nuclear warheads, blenders, vacuum cleaners, shake weights, Mexican soccer announcers, tubas, trumpets, bugles, fireworks, violins, heavy machineguns, mandolins, glass harmonicas, accordions, elephants, grizzly bears, lions, tigers, and one fire-belching dragon. This aesthetically dissonant and melodious rhapsody was being led by a blinded conductor, all while heavy metal band angels from the choirs of heaven sang and played in the background (Fact: some say angels can hit the highest notes).
The most momentous moment I had in the car, was shockingly when we were sitting at a red light. Before coming to a complete stop, we saw a 1970 Plymouth Barracuda on the right-hand side of us. A few moments later, we were directly lined up next to him. As Arny and I waited for the light to turn green, every neuron within my brain was poised and ready to engage! Arny rewed his engine, bruum, bruum, and the guy in the Barracuda rewed his, vroom, vroom! As both engines were rewing, it sounded like a stand off between Godzilla and a fire-breathing grizzly bear!
As both engines rewed, pebbles on the street seemingly jumped into the air like Mexican jumping beans and it felt as if we were rocking the earth like Billy Idols “cradle of love”! The Shelby’s exhaust was spitting fire and the harmonious tune sung by the 427ci V8’s hymns of explosive and cacophonous glory created a sense of ear ripping gratification. The vibrations and cabin echo’s from the engine and its exhaust rattled my bones into a harmonious frequency. Just as the light was about to turn green, Arny two-stepped the clutch and rewed it to 6,000rpm!
The engine felt as if it was going to shatter into a million pieces and within that split second, time seemingly slowed down. 3,2,1, the light turned green. Arny dumped the clutch and every neuron within my brain was snapped into position and firing at full speed! The hood of the car in its entirety, lifted completely off of the ground and the rush of power filled my lungs filled with excitement! As the front end ascended, I could see a 22 degree halo around the sun and it felt as if we were on a mission to space!
I could not move a single bone in my body and my smile stretched to both ends of the horizon. My entire being was harmoniously interconnected with that most magnificent machine. As the front end slammed onto the pavement, the backend kicked out and we were sideways down the road. After Arny had gained control, the tires gripped the tarmac and it felt as if were speeding up the earths axis of rotation! As the Shelby’s V8 whined through its gears, all we could see in the rearview mirror was a pluming cloud of smoke, the Barracuda was nowhere to be seen.
The car was genuinely a thrill ride that filled my soul with joy, and my lungs with excitement. After we had saved John Conner that day, we had arrived back at my house, which, at the time was located on a dam by the name “ofgivadam” (My neighbors were the Beavertons and the Woodchucks. We were located in the country of Great Mitten, where everyone had webbed hands). As I was getting out of the car, my head started spinning and all of time had stopped. That was the last thing I remember from that day, hey wait! I missed the sunrise, but the sunset has found me.