There are many reasons why relationships fail. The most common reasons are the lack of trust, communication, respect, and honesty. All these combined make a solid foundation for the rest of the relationship structure. It is similar to building a house if there is not a solid foundation the rest of the structure will not be able to hold together. Relationships require all these elements to be successful. There are many other elements that can also contribute to a relationship failing.
These can be anything from lack of maturity, growing apart, wrong priorities, money issues, narcissism, and many forms of abuse. This list can have many other types of smaller branches leading off them that will contribute to a failing relationship, however, if the main foundation elements are practiced none of the smaller issues should not develop. Any relationship requires a lot of work for those involved and it must be continuous for the duration of the relationship. They are called partners because being in a relationship is very much a partnership.
If one partner is not doing their share of the work, then a resentment will form. A relationship is really no different than a business relationship, if one is doing all the work while the other sits back and does nothing the business will eventually fail no matter how great the payoff. It is the same in all types of relationships, to be successful the work must be done by both partners equally. Relationships in their beginning are euphoric for both individuals. This is when both are on their best behavior because they want to impress each other in hopes of continuing to be a couple.
During this time is when the doting on each other, paying the upmost attention to small details, and using the best of their manners by showing kindness and politeness toward each other. Communication seems to be the strongest during this time because both are wanting to learn more about the other. Neither can do any wrong in the eyes of the other although wrong is being done. The communication needed is the kind that listens as well as stipulates the issues. Finding ways to solve the issues together by compromising where both are equally happy with the outcome.
Taking ownership when in the wrong and learning to say “I’m sorry” will show maturity within each other. When maturity is shown, respect it gain. Typically, after several months, is when the “euphoria” begins to fade. Euphoria is a feeling or a state of intense excitement and happiness. It can often be confused with ‘being in love”. Although the feeling can feel the same, euphoria and love are very different. Love is also an intense feeling, but one of deep affection for someone. And both can be experienced at the same time in the beginning, however, love will always out last euphoria.
When the euphoria fades is when the real work will begin because this is when ones true self emerges with all the imperfections that were not evident before. It is at this point when each will be able to decipher if they want to have a relationship. It is also the time to stipulate what will be the dos and don’ts within the relationship. Having disagreements are healthy because it helps each other gain respect for one another. If the disagreement becomes a yelling match, then really nobody is really listening. This accomplishes nothing and may cause deep damage within relationship.
Who wants to discuss issues with anyone who only responds with yelling? Trust, communication, respect, and honesty must be maintained at all times during a relationship for it to be successful. Communication will be the key to keeping a relationship healthy and thriving. Most couples make the mistake of assuming that their partners should know what the other is feeling or thinking. Nobody is a mind reader! Discussing issues, wants, needs, feelings, etc. is important to express to each other. How else would anything improve?
Then there are those who feel that giving their partner the “silent-treatment” is punishing them when they do something wrong. Not only does this show immaturity, it will only make the situation worst. Some find it hard to hear that they did something wrong, especially when it is pointed out to them. Who likes to hear they were wrong or bad at something? Nobody intentionally wants to hurt the person they love. However, they will never know what they did wrong if it is not explained to them, therefore, that childish game needs to be eliminated from a relationship altogether!
The wrongs should be explained in a calm and non-threatening manner. Trust is most needed in any relationship. When trust is betrayed by lying, cheating, abuse, etc. it will be very hard to gain the trust back because the person it was done to will question everything from that point on. Even if a partner decides to forgive for the wrong, doesn’t mean it will be forgotten. It will be too easy for the wrong to be brought back up during another issue. The rule to forgiving someone is to let the incident go and not bring it up again, otherwise it isn’t forgiving and the same holds true for the person doing the wrong.
Saying “I’m sorry” means that the wrong should not be repeated. If the wrong is repeated then it sends a big unspeakable message to the other that the sorry was being said to avoid further conflict. Being honest with each other will lead to stronger trust and respect. Respect for each other means that intentional hurt will never happen, therefore, trust will never be compromised. Taking additional time to build a strong foundation of trust by cementing the relationship structure with good communication skills, respect, and honesty is essential for a great and lasting relationship that will never fail.
