Society relies heavily on male-female relationships to function properly. These types of relationships allow families to form and help produce the next generation. When done correctly, the relationship will contribute to the foundation of continuing the human species, as well as the happiness of both partners. However, a faulty relationship between a male and a female will not benefit themselves or society. A lack of acceptance, respect, and care leads to no meaning in a relationship and, eventually, will end it. The Catcher in the Rye by J. D.
Salinger explores what trivial relationship and what a genuine relationship consists of through Holden’s experiences with Sunny, Sally, and Jane. The novel believes that in genuine male-female relationships, both people must have mutual respect and acceptance for each other. To Holden, non-valuable and meaningless relationships between a male and a female consist of a lack of respect and focus on superficial aspects. Firstly, Holden does not have a genuine relationship with Sally. When Sally meets Holden at the Biltmore Hotel, he mentions how Sally “[looks] terrific” (Salinger 138).
Commenting on her looks indicates that he directed his attention toward how she looked, and reflects on Holden’s character. With Sally, his character values her appearance over her personality. Therefore, Sally’s looks mesmerized Holden in to wanting to marry “her the minute [he] saw her” even though Holden “didn’t even like her much” (Salinger 138). Holden had little feelings for Sally, but because of his character, he thought of marrying Sally due to her beauty. However, appearances have no relation to character; someone who has beautiful features may have an ugly heart.
Moreover, Sally acts similarly by focusing on Holden’s looks when she responds after Holden says he loves her. After she says “I love you”, she speaks “right in the same damn breath” and talks about how Holden’s hair would look better if it grew longer (Salinger 139). Sally’s actions reveal that her thoughts jumped right to Holden’s looks even after saying three supposedly meaningful words. Thus, we can infer that she, like Holden, values appearance over personality. In addition, she doesn’t truly accept Holden because she wants to better his appearance.
Consequently, the superficial aspect of n appearance acts as a basis for Holden and Sally’s relationship. Another meaningless relationship Holden has is with the prostitute Sunny. Initially, Holden hires her thinking that he will sleep with her. Nevertheless, Holden doesn’t feel sexy when Sunny takes her dress off even though he knows “you’re supposed to feel pretty sexy” (Salinger 106). This thought suggests that other men in a similar situation would feel that way. By doing so, the men disrespect Sunny because they superficially view her as an object for their own pleasure.
However, Holden feels “more depressed than sexy” (Salinger 06). Holden’s feeling shows that he does not truly want a one- night stand. Additionally, he stalls by making conversation with Sunny. Wanting to converse with someone instead of just using them for their body reveals a shift in Holden’s thoughts: that relationships based around superficial aspects mean nothing to him. Lastly, Holden worries about what Stradlater and Jane did on their date. Stradlater responds to Holden’s question about giving her “the time” in Ed Banky’s car with “That’s a professional secret buddy” (Salinger 49).
To Holden, this statement implies he did give Jane ‘the time’. Therefore, Holden attempts to hurt Stradlater by hitting him on the head. During the fight, Holden shouts, “You don’t even know if first name is Jane or Jean, ya goddam moron! ” (Salinger 49). With this insult, he reveals Stradlater upset him because Stradlater didn’t care or respect Jane enough to even know her name, and he only used Jane for her body. In conclusion, Holden’s perspective connotes that the absence of an emphasis on disposition and absence of respect create meaningless relationships.
The foundation found in Holden’s valuable relationship with Jane includes respect, trust, and an aspect of care. When Holden recollects about Jane after leaving the Lavender Room, he states “I really got to know her quite intimately… You don’t always have to get too sexy to get to know a girl” (Salinger 85). The use of this statement implies that intimacy does not exclusively come with physical affection; Holden developed a relationship with Jane Additionally, Holden thought Jane putting her hand on the back of his neck “[was] so pretty it just about [killed him]” (Salinger 89).
Since touching the back of someone’s neck is an intimate action, we can conclude that Holden and Jane trust each other. Furthermore, Holden “wouldn’t exactly describe her as strictly beautiful”, but Jane still “knocked [him] out” (Salinger 86). This comment shows how Holden accepts Jane for herself, and he still finds her stunning even though she isn’t the exact definition of beautiful. Also, Holden showed Allie’s glove to her. Besides his family, “she was the only one” that Holden showed the glove to.
Because he usually hides the glove from other people, his actions convey that he trusts Jane (Salinger 87). Lastly, when Jane started crying after her stepfather asked her a question, Holden shows how he cares about Jane. He “[kissed] her all over -anywhere-her eyes, her nose, her forehead, her eyebrows and all, her ears-her whole face except her mouth and all” (Salinger 88). Holden’s affection, reveals that he attempted to make her feel better because she was crying.
Jane wouldn’t allow just anyone to kiss her face, so this action also shows she trusts Holden. Overall, the way Holden and Jane accept, respect and care for each other disclose what aspects a true relationship needs. The Catcher in the Rye believe genuine relationships between male and females include trust, respect, and acceptance. Today, healthy relationship still displays these qualities, but an king at the superficial aspect of her appearance. abusive relationship lacks the qualities.
Abusive relationships involve “a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner” (“What Is Relationship Abuse? “). These different abusive behaviors include “physical abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse” (“Is This Abuse? “). Physical abuse may involve hitting, using a weapon, or throwing an object at the victim with the intention to hurt them. Emotional abuse uses non-physical ehaviors such as threats and controlling personal accounts. Sexual abuse refers to any unwanted sexual contact.
In addition, the abuser uses any of these behaviors to embed a sense of power into their partner’s mind. In relation to the perspective of The Catcher in the Rye, all three types of abusive behavior violate the three main qualities of a genuine relationship. Respect requires a feeling of admiration and value, so the violent partner would not hurt their partner if they admired or valued them. Likewise, emotional abuse lacks trust. Threats to force an act and needing to have access to personal ccounts show distrustfulness in the other partner.
Without trust, the abused partner cannot live as they please because their partner aims to watch over their every move. Finally, sexual abuse ignores the concept of acceptance. The abuser refuses to accept the victim’s answer of no, and in turn, forces them to act in a way they wouldn’t normally. Abusive relationships disregard the qualities that determine a meaningful relationship. Ultimately, a foundation with the proper characteristics solidifies a genuine relationship, and genuine relationships act as building blocks for future life.