“Yo, Yo, Yo! Check it out dawgs. I’m just keeping it real up here in the front of the plane. Get ready for the flight of yo life. I am your pilot, Randy Jackson, ready to fly you to absolutely nowhere! ” declared Randy as he shoved the microphone back into the wall. My heart sank to my stomach, as I hated to fly on planes. I couldn’t even fathom the thought that I was stuck on this plane forever. I rubbed my hand along the smooth armrest and gripped the end as tightly as I could, hoping this was all a dream. Unfortunately, it was not. “Can you believe this dump?
The seats are all torn apart, you can’t even see out the windows, and don’t even get me started on the puke green wallpaper. Ugh, this plane is disgusting! ” Corinne criticized as she reached in her purse for a Clorox wipe to disinfect the seat she was about to sit in. ““Bad news my peeps, looks like bad weather ahead, make sure you dawgs keep your seatbelts fastened and store your carry-on luggage in the bin overhead,” announced Randy Jackson. “Ohhh myyy godddd, I have butterflies. What do you mean there is bad weather ahead? Bad weather and Corinne Olymios do NOT mix.
I just got my hair done. This cannot be happening to me,” shrieked Corinne as she fastened her seatbelt and flipped her blonde, bouncy hair over her shoulder. My head pounded as I listened to the obnoxious wails of the immature 24 year old sitting to my right. “Calm down Corinne, it is just some turbulence! ” I mumbled as I shoved her big, brown Louis Vuitton makeup bag in the overhead storage compartment. Even though the bad weather was dangerous, all Corinne cared about was her hair.
The thought of having to survive a plane ride sitting next to Corinne, made me wish that I ad earplugs. “Ughhh, my hair. I just had my nanny, Raquel, drive me to the salon in the city to get it done and once we get off of this horrific plane ride it is going to be ruined! Raquel keeps my life together. She even makes sure my bed is made every morning. I do not even know how to do chores. I got my hair done just for Nick. I have to win the bachelor because everyone knows I am the best. No one is better than Corinne! ” she yelled as she admired her perfectly French manicured nails. “Take it easy baby. Everything will work out as it is meant to be, just chillax.
I can fly this plane with my big brown eyes closed,” Randy Jackson hollered as he took off his black cashmere cardigan and placed it onto the leather seat. The plane was boiling hot and seemed to be about 100 degrees. || was sweating bullets, but nothing was as bad as sitting next to Corinne. It did not seem like Corinne understood that this plane was NEVER going to land. There was only so much I could do to block out her whining and complaining. “Just take a nap, Corinne, we will land on the ground before you know it. Just try it,” I encouraged.
I hoped that she would get the hint to stop talking. “Maybeeeee,” Corinne whined. ““Abraham Lincoln took naps. Michael Jordan took naps. Corinne Olymios takes naps. ” “Okay dawg, I’ll make sure to wake you up before we land,” assured Randy as he made his way over to me. “Yo, we are expecting lots of turbulence so make sure to keep your seatbelt on dawg. ” I looked back at Corinne as she seemed to be going to sleep, “Okay Randy, hopefully, the weather will clear up soon. ” Corinne immediately perked up and said “Can I interrupt you guys? I’m interrupting you.
Randy, my Dad paid LOTS of money for this flight to be smooth and perfect. You are letting me down and I will make sure to tell him. ”I dug my shoe into the carpet on the floor of the plane, trying to contain myself from yelling at Corinne. “Corinne, he is trying his best! ” | muttered as the plane began its descent over what seemed like mountains. The amount of turbulence felt as though we were on a rollercoaster. One minute we were high, up above the clouds, and the next, it felt like we were crashing onto the enormous mountains. “I’m very pissed. She RE-interrupted me, which I think is very rude.
I was NOT talking to you Ally, so mind your own business and stay out of my conversation! ” cried Corinne as she looked to Randy for help. She threw up her arms as it looked like she was going to throw one, big temper-tantrum. “Leave me out of this one, dawgs. You two can talk, I have a plane to fly,” grumbled Randy, making his way back to the front of the plane. He hoped to avoid Corinne’s drama, as he knew she acted quite childish when things did not go her way. “Corinne, why are you so grouchy? ” I asked, hoping she would answer in a cordial, calm way. Didn’t I just tell you to mind your own business? I am not dumb, you know. I know I just told you to do that so why don’t you listen. I feel like I am not being myself, but I am trying really hard to be myself, but because I’m trying so hard to be myself, it is making me even more not myself! ”
Corinne commented as she pulled her long, voluminous hair out of her head. I sighed, knowing that it was time for me to comfort her, “I know you are trying to be yourself, but you are taking it out on other people. Just think about happier things and we will be on the ground before you know it. I could tell that Corinne was allowing the agitation to creep in. Corinne smiled and replied “All I want to do is be with Nick. Actually, I want to be at a spa, being fed a nice taco with Nick. Preferably… chicken. ” “Yo, yo, yo! Ladies, gents, and dawgs, get ready it looks like there is some more turbulence up ahead. Put your tray tables in their upright position and make sure your seat belts are on. Let’s get ready to keep it real through this naaasssttttyyyy weather,” Randy declared as he lifted his glasses and wiped the sweat off his forehead.
I could tell the nerves were roaming throughout Randy’s body as I saw his hand slightly tremor. Knowing that this would be a great deal of nasty weather, I knew that I would have to stay calm and comfort Corinne. “Corinne, why don’t you eat something? ” | asked as | opened her bag to see what snacks she had packed. I hoped to take her mind off the bad weather and distract her with something else. As I looked into her large, heavy carry-on bag, I noticed that the whole bag was filled with peanut butter crackers. I immediately groaned and shut her bag very quickly, hoping she would not notice. Oh! Peanut butter crackers, my favorite! ” screeched Corinne as she lunged across the seat, trying to grasp the bag from my hands. She opened the crackers as quickly as she could and shoved three into her mouth at once, “These are amazing, do you want some? ” Little bits of cracker covered my face as Corinne could not manage to swallow her food before she talked.
The smell of peanut butter covered the atmosphere of the plane, which made me feel sick. I hated peanut butter and now the plane would smell like peanut butter for forever, great. No thank you,” I sighed as I wiped the mixture of spit and peanut butter off of my face. I stood up and looked around me, hoping to find an escape from all of this absurdity. Then I saw it, in the front right corner of the plane was a small, blue box with some faint, illegible writing. I walked over to the box and noticed it was a parachute. An epiphany came across my body as I realized that this was my chance to depart from the plane. I immediately took possession of the parachute, opened the emergency exit, closed my eyes, and jumped out of the plane.
Theard a loud thump and slowly opened my eyes. The sight around me was not the crummy, rickety plane, but instead, it was an old helicopter. Just as | thought things could not get worse, they did. “Did you miss me? Just kidding! I do not know why I asked that, everyone misses me, I’m Corinne! ” shouted Corrine eagerly as she fastened her seatbelt. “Yo, yo, yo! Sit down dawg, the flights about to take off! ” hollered Randy Jackson as he walked towards me. I immediately felt a chill crawl throughout my body, I could never escape this madness.
