Daily Amino Reporter

It was just a quiet day in local suburbia when panic struck. Staphylococcus epidermidis, the local fauna, was being accused of accessory to infection. The local authorities are performing many tests to cause questionable doubt, but S. epidennidis’s lawyers are fighting it all the way. “We want to know the right strain is caught in this unfortunate crime.” Lawyer M. Whitblodcelle commented. The particular infection in question: Meningitis. This reported knows for a fact that S. epidermidis is a cause of this infection, but the most violent perpetrator is Staphylococcus aureus.

The question is who the bystander was and who is the guilty party. “We are assuring that all of the proper tests are being performed on my client” Whitblodcelle commented. The test results have been obtained from an unnamed source especially for the Daily Amino. On the night of his arrest S. epidermidis was a semi-opaque color against his auger and was coldly given the number 130. After his one phone call to renowned microbiologist Dr. Ozzy Drix, he was immediately shuffled off to the direct staining room. Officer Methylene blue sat on S. epidermidis for one minute until she got all the information she needed. Results from her test proved that S. epiderrnidis stained blue and had a cocci shape. He also showed signs of staphylo arrangement.

Officer Blue stated “it is too early to tell anything at this point, there are thousands of people in this city with those signs.” After a 500,000,000 protein bail was put on his head S. epidermidis spent the next few nights in the slammer.

The next few days brought test after test. Early, just after a breakfast of organic compounds, S. epidermidis was escorted into one of the most important labs in the police force. It was time for his gram stain. Officer Violet and Officer Safranin presided the testing. After being stained, rinsed and stained again, S. epidermidis finally talked. There was no denying that he was a purple, cocci, staphylo and Gram Positive cell. The stress was taking a toll on the poor cell though because it seemed like a few of his arrangements had slipped into a diplo formation. “I really wished that he wouldn’t have been so quick to admit that he was Gram Positive” S. epidermidis’s girlfriend Bacillus subtilis commented. “Now everyone will know we are opposites.”

Unfortunately, things were going to get more confusing for the couple. In a daring move to test S. epidermidis accused hidden lipids, Special agent Acid-fast was brought in to perform his stain for the evidence locker. S. epidermidis came out nonacid fast and very blue. He did test positive again for staphylo cocci shape. “One of the most consistent shape tester I have ever seen” Acid fast’s assistant Miss Acid Alcohol commented.

The day was long and grueling, but he was not done yet. The Endospore Agency for the Mental Health of All Domains brought in Ms. M. Green came in and gave S. epidermidis a steam bath with herself to see if he could survive this whole ordeal by producing endospores. The test came back negative, that he was not harboring endospores. After this test he was looking a little pink, but still in staphylo cocci formation. Will all these tests prove him of this heinous crime of infection? Stay tuned to the Daily Amino for more answers.

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