A women was built to be strong to endure the most dangerous task of giving birth. Holding such an important job a women hold here head up high while having to put up on a strong face in front of the world. A woman with emotions that must hide it all because she knows that the world is watching her attitude changes. The image of a women is portrayed as quiet and meant to do one job and that is to raise the kids. A woman never learned the term divorce because that was something that never happened one women was shocked to learn that her husband had walked out on her.
A marriage that was at the end f its course brought out a woman who was afraid of what the world would think with only her son by her side. Nicelle Davis in “In The Circus of You” writes about a woman who is constantly under surveillance because of her marriage ending also feelings like she also is watching everyone back. Surveillance is having to put on an act and hiding what truly is happening through stanza, simile, personification, and metaphor.
In Nicelle Davis’s novel “In the circus of you” a woman is entering into what was once a fairytale to a nightmare she can’t seem to wake up from knowing she is being watched by others as Davis explains in her oem “Cat and Mouse Acts”. The evidence that is presented from the poetic device called stanza that enforces the emotions of her bumpy life. “Now there is/ n’t a night that can coax you into our bed, is/ n’t any of me that can forget the cat-weight of sleep, pouncing” (4-7) The women emphasis her frustration towards the way her ex- husband was with her.
The way he tired to control every aspect of her life made her realize how unhappy she was but never really put much importance. The true meaning of the woman using such pattern was to be show the dramatic statement. The agony she went throw without any one to help her only made it orse knowing that she was being watched she never knew when or who was watching at whatever time she just knew she was watched. After all the eyes that were on her she managed to hide all the pain she had in her and force out an act while watching those around her.
In addition, the woman is faced with a bumpy road which she does not seem to know where she will end up because of the constant surveillance she being to watch other through Personification the woman expresses through animal figures the way she saw people. The memories and flash backs had caused her to almost lose her mind. Trapped in the memories of being scared to show her true self to the world left her weak try to fight so she lead it to consume her. Every animal had a meaning some had a memory attached some where just sayings like a fish to a pigeon meant a racist comment to those who married a person of color.
The there was the pigs and the dogs signifying how one animal gets treated better than the other. For the the fact that humans have dogs as pets and pigs don’t get the same treatment than the dogs do. As being watched was becoming normal for her she began to fall into to that realm of manipulation. Just like animals had a place so did a woman who to the would would seemed she had failed at her marriage. Every person has an animal inside that is waiting to be unleashed. The significance that she relates to her self as a cat is for the fact that she is quiet but when she s up set she is ready to put up a war.
The pressure of the surveillance leads her to share what she saw in other’s personal stories through the poetic device of smile in “The Clown in My Gut”. The pain she says in other described some of her own pain. The way she felt trapped inside her own head the on going process lead her to ant to look at other people so she did not have to look at her messed up life she was living. By looking at other people she could try to forget how bad it felt to have experienced such pain. The pains of other helped her look at them even closer to understand the way she could learn from.
The roads that she crossed she would learn a thing or two stories from those around her that change some of her ways of thinking through the tragic moment would go away. “Rubber skin molts like confetti” (9-10) This evidence shows how she had a friend who had gone to the army to experience combat saw his fellow friend die because a angerous gas the soldier had to endure leaving some with out lives. The pain her friend had to go through seeing his fellow mates dying before him. The intrigue to looking at other had consumption her into finding pleasure through other peoples lives.
The struggle for trying to control her emotions only lead her to listen to those around her by taking medications to stop the anxiety. Her mind is like her own living hell of torture which seem may seem like she can’t escape from with out the help of her own self to realize a new meaning in life. Everything that was expressed in this writing show the struggle a woman had to ace after being left by her husband with a six-year-old boy who had no idea what was going on with his parents has helped understand through poetic devices like Metaphor to help understand surveillance.
The pressure of having to put up an act every day left her very exhausted to have to smile like nothing was happening. Although, the process for healing seemed to have had a bitter sweet taste to it the woman expressed how much hell she was living through wit out any escape she pushed her way out. The light at the end of the tunnel seemed to be close but yet so far. The process of wanting to change was not asy expressing in every weird way the woman she was wasn’t any longer there.
In the end a woman was reborn through her own vaginal canal embracing who she had become after a long stormy road she could finally be closer to her young son who had no fault in anything. The dark tunnel had seemed to continue for the road that lead to her down fall which gave her a second chance to rethink what she wanted to do since she had her son looking up at her. For this poor woman felt like for life was a circus and always having to put an act towards the rest of the world.
In conclusion, the evidence shows how a women tarted off as weak because of the fact that she felt trap because of the perception of a women getting divorced since this was not so common back then. As Davis expressed the anger and frustration this woman lived through because she felt like she was under surveillance because of her failure in marriage. Through the poetic devices the surveillance was evident of the struggle of trying to be strong in front her son and the rest of the world after an unexpected divorce transforms her into a new person in order to feel happy again.
The way her son viewed her was as his mom the one person he could feel ith with having to watch the war between his to parents. The words that where used created a different point of view having to look past the words and into the emotions of each and every words should the transformation that she was looking for. A women went through something she would have never imagined leaving her with the one thing that kept her together which was her son who look over her watching her every move because she was all that he had. A woman is strong and she continues to fight through everything with her son on her side very she is reborn into her own self.
