As society advances, expectations differ on each gender role. From the paste generations, gender was defined in two terms – man or woman. However, in modern days, gender equality has been raising, because as time goes by gender roles are questioned and changed. Future more, every man or a woman has to behave in a way to be accepted by the society. A man or a woman have different responsibilities to improvise in result to keep their gender moto. These so-called expectations are passed on through generations of men and women and are still impacting the social concept of gender in this generation.
In “Becoming Members of Society, the author states “Children begin to settle into a gender identity between the age of eighteen months and two years” (Devor 472). In other words, individuals are placed into criteria of expectations and rules without understanding. At the age of two, most children do not have the ability to comprehend among what they desire or want. However, society places people into a permanent gender role. A man, like a woman, has many expectations to follow in order to devise his gender role and these standards have a huge effect on men negatively.
In the modern society, men are defined by their actions and personality they reveal to the public. In “Boy,” the coach says to the boy “We do not show any emotions. ” The social concept demands men to hide their feelings, because over the past generations this is the dogmatic characteristic has corresponded with males. In “Bros Before Hos”: The Guy Code” the author states “The Boy Code leaves boys disconnected from a wide range of emotions and prohibited from sharing those feelings with others” (Kimmel 548).
In essence, men should not provide any emotions, because they will be going against societies expectations. Furthermore, this could lead to emotional illnesses. In “Bros Before Hos”: The Guy Code” by Kimmel, the author states “boys are more prone to depression, suicidal behavior, and various other forms of out-of-control behavior” (548). In other words, not showing emotions causes boys from a young age to develop illnesses. Additionally, crying is a form of emotion that men are prohibited to portray. Crying is a feeling that a person uses to express his mindset of pain, joy, or sadness.
In “Boy,” the coach states to the boy “We do not cry; crying is a form of defeat. ” The coach defines crying as a weakness and a form surrender to life problems. For instance, when I was growing up, crying was forbidden from the guys in our school and neighborhood. If anyone cried, then he completely lost his dignity and respect among other men. However, in sociological standpoint, crying relieves stress and anxiety. When boys are young, they are taught not to cry because they are boys. This concept continues to hunt the children through their childhood years.
When boys are not able to cry, this forces them to let out their feelings with anger. For example, in my boxing matches, when I was hit hard and tears started dripping from my eyelids. I would hold myself from crying and put that energy into anger to fight the opponent. This results in unhealthy relationships and partnership in their lives, because when they grow up they hid their emotions and let them out with rage. In addition, not only men cannot show emotions, also they use their fists to solve their problems. In modern days, propagandas shown to be against fighting and violence.
In “Boy,” the coach says to the boy “Violence is the answer; we fight for what we believe; use your fists not your words. ” Moreover, the elder males still teach youngsters that violence is acceptable. In “Bros Before Hos”: The Guy Code” by Kimmel, the author states “boys disconnected from a wide range of emotions … when they turn to anger and violence it is because of theses, they believe, perhaps rightly, are the only acceptable forms of emotional expression in them. ” Many kids begin to see fighting as a solution to their problems.
In addition, his belief causes problems such as injuries and unnecessary pain. For instance, in middle and high schools, many guys get into fights because they express their feeling not verbally but physically. Fighting is taught to be the cure and a way to show that a man is stronger than the other person he is in battle with. For instance, when I was in high school, fighting was a common way for male teens to show dominates over other teens. However, this is a dangers way to promote children to solve their problems, but the society still states that the strength and toughness is a characteristic of being a male gender.
Furthermore, the society not only promotes fighting, it also pressures men to limit how they express body and movements. Looks can define a person’s character, taste, and even their personality. Men have to compete with other males around them to look more attractive to women. Fashion applies to man as much as it applies to women. In “Gril,” the author says “this is how to hem a dress when you see the hem coming down and so to prevent yourself from looking like the slut” (Kindcaid 469). In essence, men have to wear clothing so they won’t look like a wimp or a homosexual.
Furthermore, this concept is similar to women having to dress a way to not look like a slut or a whore. In “Bros Before Hos”: The Guy Code” the author states “Just make sure that you walk, talk, and act in a different way from the gay stereotypes; dress terribly” (Kimmel 543). Many men refuse to wear what they desire because they want to be accepted by other fellow men. In “Boy,” A boy or a man always looks pleasant; we wear dark colors; men do not wear pink; men do not wear purple; we walk straight. ” Men are forced to wear colors that other men wear, such as black, white, and etc.
A guy cannot have glider on his clothing or even his shorts have to be a certain length. Moreover, walking gesture have to correspond with masculinity views. If guys do not follow rules that apply to clothing, accessories, and even movement then they will be defined as a homo. In “Bros Before Hos”: The Guy Code” by Kimmel, the author says “the most common put-down in middle school or high school? The answer: ‘That’s so gay” (544). Personally, I don’t find anything wrong with homosexuality; however, no guy, even myself, want to be defined as one.
In addition, guys have to follow these expectations from the society, in order for them not to be considered as a homosexual. These clothing rules and walking gestures limit a guy from wearing or moving in a way he is comfortable in. In essence, a male’s decisions are made by others. Not only men have to be limited by their looks and movements, they also are required to be tough. Men are expected to be strong and tough. In “Boy,” the coach informs the boy “We are always tough; we are not fragile. ” The society pictures men as big and muscular individuals, and that guys have to withstand pain.
Growing up, dads tend to pressure their sons to play a sport or exercise. While sports are a tremendous way to stay healthy and active, some children are pushed to their limits. For instance, when I was young my father pushed me into boxing and forced me to win every tournament. This sport began a priority instead of a hobby. Moreover, when I was hit, I was told to man up and continue. Until it got to the point when my doctor prohibited me from boxing because of the concussions and brain damage. In essence, due to the state of mind that men are tough, I was never able to express the pain I felt when I was boxing.
In “Bros Before Hos”: The Guy Code” by Kimmel, the author states “Any fatigue, any weakness, any sign that being hit actually hurt and the coach was like Waah! [fake crying] Widdle Donny got a boo boo” (543). In other words, this is still true for many young boys who are denied the freedom of backing off from danger. The fear of humiliation forces men to go beyond their limits as humans and take over challenges that are set over their standards. This causes many injures among guys, and prohibits them from standing up for themselves.
Not only being tough results in high risk of injures, also being tough forces men to control over their family. Men are forced to control others, such as their family members, in order for them to fulfill their position of the man of the house. In “Boy,” the coach states to the boy “We are always right; we are the man of the house; we control the family. ” The men are considered to be the head of the household, which society defines that as men have to being home income, make decisions, and also rule over the family.
In “Boy,” the coach informs the boy “your family depends on you; a man needs to have a high income. Guys are pressured to make lots of money because this will make them look better in society’s perspective. This forces men to take more hours from their family and children and work to buy bigger houses, luxury cars, or even fancy clothing. Furthermore, In “Becoming Members of Society,” the Devor says “men are the breadwinner of the family” (478) In other words, man have to being the money for their wives and kids. However, some men are marvelous at staying home and taking care of the children. This is not accepted in the society, which forces men to work denies them the ability to be a house husband.
In “Boy,” the coach informs the boy “we should make more money than his wife. ” Many men who produce less income than their wives are looked down upon. In “Becoming Members of Society,” the author states “females will want to have children and will therefore find themselves relatively helpless and dependent on males for support” (Devor 479) In essence, man are supposed to take care of their wives, which puts pressure over their head. In addition, this promotes unhealthy relationships and marriages, because one party always thinks they do more for the household than the other partner.
In conclusion, men have rules that they have to follow in order to be accepted by the society. These expectations, such has not showing any emotions, are separating men from being a human. In addition, men are considered to be strong, and they have to prove themselves worthy of being a man, which limits their freedom as a person. Furthermore, men are forced to be the head of the household, which pressures some of them into going against their will or comfort. Overall, guys are expected to be masculine and follow what the society expects from them; however, this causes problems in their social life and relationships.