“He throws like a girl! ” This insult is heard all too often and is harsh to boys because of the perception of girls being weak. We are constantly bombarded with moments emphasizing gender in everyday situations. After training myself to see these differences my eyes have been opened to something I have previously believed “natural” and allowed a new perspective to push through. I see attitudes and behavior now as socially constructed and not usually inherent.
In R. W. Connel’s book Gender, he defines gender as “the structure of social relationship that centers on the reproductive arena, and the set of practices that bring reproductive distinctions between bodies into social processes” (pg 10). I have found that gender is an institution, a pattern that has attained a social state. Gender is unique in that it is meshed with many other institutions, thus changing gender, it would mean changing much of society. I chose to focus my paper on the different institutions gender is a part of, in education throughout development, relationships, religion, and politics.
Although I have only touched the surface, I believe that gender is an institution; an order or pattern that has attained a social state or property. Education is a potent institution used to reinforce gender differences. In our reading we found that children are much more likely to separate themselves at school in gender categories than in their neighborhoods. As Barrie Thorne points out in her book Gender Play, “Apart from age, of all the social categories of the students, gender was the most formally, and informally, highlighted in the course of each school day” (pg 34).
I feel that many experiences in elementary school have reinforced my gender outlook. I spent much of my time in elementary school racing the boys and biting my nails to show I wasn’t scared to “break a nail” and never wearing a dress. Recess was a fight for me half the time. I didn’t like the connotation of being called a “girl. ” Now I realize that I was trying to oppose the gender role I was expected to perform, yet eventually I grew out of that “phase” of fighting against the norm and joined the ranks of the girls. I moved from the field, to the bars and jump rope.
I see now that the change I went through was just giving in to the reinforcement around me to be feminine. Instead of fighting against the grain, I chose the easy road by conforming to the norms required for proper girlhood. The second thing I learned from elementary schoolers is that they are vital to passing on societies expected gender roles. Connell explains, “These laws are a part of an enormous social effort to channel people’s behavior” (pg 4). When I am around children multiple times gender law has been addressed, “girls don’t play with Lego’s.
There was also a little boy who felt he did something wrong when he quietly admitted to me that this favorite color was purple. The rules that society has set up are very apparent and are heavily policed during childhood. The third thing I gleaned from this experience is how adults played a role. My parents thought it was cute that I was a “Tom Boy. ” My little brother (who grew up with five sisters) was caught playing with Barbie’s on a few occasions, and my parents became nervous about the situation and quickly exchanged his Malibu Barbie for a GI Joe.
It’s more socially accepted for women to cross over to the male side however, it is inappropriate for men to do the same. The idea of what is right and wrong is strongly reinforced by adults. In middle and high school my femininity was defined. I wanted to be a girl more than ever. In the article Gender and New Institutionalism Katherine Graham states in her personal history a universal situation. A large struggle during adolescence is to figure out how to be appealing to boys (pg 14). We both discovered that we needed to be fake in order to be attractive.
I had my first boyfriend and the entire relationship was pre-scripted. It was like everyone else’s middle school relationship. The boy called first, he asked “me out” and then we held hands, I watched his sports events etc. I took everything for granted as being natural and I really wanted to fill that role. No one wants to be different in middle school and it’s very easy to try to conform in anyway possible and ostracize people who are different. This is another poignant time where gender is reinforced. In college I’ve found that majors are very gendered.
I was previously a Dietetics major and after telling a boy this he said “that’s one of my favorite majors for girls to have. ” I was offended by the comment because it connoted that he liked girls to study nutrition as a promise that they won’t get fat when they get older. There are always stories of the girl who “choose an easy major because it doesn’t matter what she studies, she’s going to just stay at home anyway. ” This idea of the “feminine” or the “ideal man” is a poignant force that shapes who we are and what we do, In many of my classes I have noticed that I am nervous to ask a question while most of the men do the talking.
Gender is very apparent in religion. As a member of the LDS church, I’ve found that it is reinforced for women in our emotions; it’s rare to go a relief society meeting without pictures, table cloths, treats, and tears. It’s an expected role. Multiple times I’ve heard women say they feel overwhelmed when called to presidency positions because they don’t have the homemaking skills the other women have. The unique thing about the LDS religion is its emphasis on roles of women and men and that they are equally important. Talcott Parsons had a similar take with the theory of complimentary roles.
He describes men and women as being different in useful ways. The fact that society values men’s characteristics and roles much more than women; women are generally looked at as inferior. To be valued in society women need to break the woman role and try to do “manly” things, for example get a job, or a higher education. While being equally qualified, women aren’t valued the same as men. Kimberlee Holland, in her class social problems, explained that women are paid 76 cents to the dollar that men receive for the same job.
Gender in politics is very obvious in the lack of women represented, and has changed extremely slowly. Women are not taken seriously when it comes to politics, and that is reflected in the 13. 5% female representatives in congress and 14% in the senate. The USA is number 57 in the world for how many women are represented in politics (Kimberlee Holland). A social conflict theorist Friedrich Engels would describe this in his theory the rise of patriarchy. He claims that men are determined to push women down and keep them out of the “important” aspects of society.
As described in the article, Gender and New Institutionalism Cornwall and King define institutions as possessing “1. Classification 2. Institutionalized logics and 3. Diffusion, legitimization, and taken for grantedness. ” After reading this, I found all the characteristics in my gender moments. Although individuals act on a personal basis, their acts collectively fit societies pre-determined standard and mold. I see much of individuality as either conforming to decisions already made or trying to push against the mold. Men and women are different, but not as different as society would like to assume.
Gender is intertwined in many of society’s institutions-education, religion, relationships, and politics- and because it is tangled up in all, it is very hard to change gender as an institution. It is very likely to be reinforced beginning in childhood; from children, adults, and peers. Because of the reinforcement, it is reproduced from parents to children and conforming is the easiest way to go through society. Change happens very slowly and although there is change from my grandmother’s experience to my own, I see the change as not very fluid- instead of water it’s more like heavy mud.
