Debra Satz proposes multiple proponents for prostitution in her book “Why Some Things Should Not Be For Sale”. Satz arching argument against prostitution is that “it reinforces board patterns of sex inequality”. Satz targets three popular controversies from the economic, essentialist, and egalitarian approaches. She states that prostitution is not inherently wrong but it is the social implications that make prostitution negative. Satz states that prostitution would be a positive and acceptable factor if the society it was based in did not equate a degradation of gender equality to the sex market.
Though I do believe that prostitution does create inequality between males and females, it is my position that Satz overlooks the most impactful aspect of the prostitution argument. Prostitution bypasses the foundation of healthy relationships, which degrades the physiological stability of the participants to form healthy relationships. Physiatrist Dr. John VanEpp presented a model that illustrated the healthy development of relationships between two persons with romantic interest, but can be applied to varying relationships. According to Dr.
John VanEpp’s Relationship Attachment Model, the first column is “Knowing (& Becoming Known)” – bonding with someone and getting to know him or her. The next column is “Trust (Based on Experience)” – as you get to know someone, you put together your pieces of knowledge to make a dynamic picture of that person, and the more you know, the better you can begin to trust. The “knowing” comes first, and from that, trust develops. The third bonding dynamic is entitled “Rely (on Emotional Needs)” – this refers to the action that follows from trust.
Reliance grows from the ways you meet another person’s needs as well as how they meet your needs. The fourth column is “Commitment” – the definition of ownership or belonging in a relationship. The extent to which you feel like you belong to someone, and that they belong to you, is a measure of the degree of commitment in your relationship. And the last dynamic is “Intimate Touch” – a strong contributor to the feelings of intimacy and closeness in any romantic relationship. These columns are progressive in that foundations of a relationship start with “Know”, then moves to “Trust” etc.
Also, each column must come in the order and none should be at greater level than the column it precedes. There is difficulty in trusting someone before getting to know him or her. When trust proceeds really knowing a person; the results are an unbalanced or unhealthy relationship. It’s also becomes hard to rely on somebody before trust has developed. Therefore engaging in sex with a person you neither know, trust, rely on, nor are committed too develops an unhealthy relationship with that person. Unhealthy relationships affect all parties involved and have bleeding effects into other relationships held by those persons.
One dynamic should follow the other from left to right and never at a higher level than the preceding column. Within the American society, recreational sex and “hooking up” have become common practices. Sexual activities early on in a relationship leaves little time to get to know, trust, rely or commit to the relationship before hardships come. Without a foundation to support them, arguments or uncomfortable situations entering a relationship become very noxious and destructive to the relationship and psyche of the individuals.
When engaged in sexual activities with another person, the bonding chemical oxytocin is released and forms a bond with that person. No amount of self-denial can negate that chemical bond within the brain. Two individuals that are sexually active may not really know if they can trust each other, if they can rely on each other, or what level of commitment is in the relationship. This predicament develops physiological and/or cognitive errors within the participants. Even in cases of prostitution when there may be no desire to bond or connect with the merchandise or client, a bond is formed, which causes confusion and uncomfortable feelings.
The more engaged a person is within such activists, a desensitization can occur but that does not mean those feelings are not present. “Prostitution will always lead into a moral quagmire in democratic societies with capitalist economies; it invades the terrain of intimate sexual relations yet beckons for regulation. A society’s response to prostitution goes to the core of how it chooses between the rights of some persons and the protection of others. ” – Barbara Meil Hobson, Uneasy Virtue The criminalization and decriminalization of prostitution does as much to solving a problem as treating a symptom does to curing a disease.
Many European countries are engaged within this legal battle that continues to address the symptoms of society without and clear direction for a cure. Prostitution is a symptom of a greater problem that needs direct attention, the mental capabilities of healthy activities of a population. When feeling bonded or apart of another person without knowing or trusting that person, changes of the anatomical structure of the brain occur. Senses of vulnerability develop and the brain compensates through increased tendencies of distrust, seclusion, anti-socialism, and even to skewing the views on the equality and roles of the sexes.
As a majority view, the “wrong” of prostitution is placed on the women who put themselves in situations to offer sexual labors. These women are titled: “skanks, ho’s, sluts, whores, hustlers, man eaters, home wreckers” etc. Society puts the vast amount of blame on the women involved in these activities. Anyone, mostly women, who acts out against the moral code (which is truly degrading in our modern society) is given these titles and names. This classification system generates a skewing of societies view of women to that of an object to satisfy a sexual desire of men.
To propionate for Satz argument women truly are unequal in the degrading view of society to sex labors. Throughout history women have vary rarely been seen as equal as to status and opportunity as men. Women were baby makers or lovers to be had or owned by men. Women historically are even forced into “prostitution” by marriage contracts. Astoundingly, a study of female journals and interviews of older generation upbringings has found that the majority of women also pushed this ideal onto their daughters, neighbors, and acquaintances throughout the last two centuries.
Long has the role of women been that of a “servant” to meet the needs of men, children and home. Why then do women engage in such activities that seem only to demean further their already low stature? It is because of the demand of men and society for the “sexy” and “beautiful” image of women. Society is developing a taste for lascivious from women. The girls who preform for pornography would not do so if there were no pay. There is little prestige or honors in taking off your cloths. Money, money generates this mindset, and men are willing to pay women to do so.
And how oft can anyone turn down an opportunity to provide financial security when so readily, and at times one of the only opportunities. “We say that slavery has vanished from European civilization, but this is not true. Slavery still exists, but now it applies only to women and it’s name is prostitution. ” – Victor Hugo, Les Miserable Though it is my position to illegalize the purchasing and selling of sex, based on moral beliefs; it is my opinion that formal education is the foreseeable remedy to the issues of prostitution.
Instilling in the developing minds of K-12 students a moral structure will provide a solid foundation for society to stabilize upon. Such a curriculum would include classes on topics such as interpersonal relationship development, self-actualization, financial stability and effective communication. It is essential to teach the rising generations how to be financially responsible and provide for themselves as independents. As well, education on effectively communicating abilities with peers, employers and families reduces the barriers of personalities and sets a pathway for honesty, healthy relationships to be established.
Providing a foundation for rational thought to process emotions for children will undoubtedly decrease the presence of common cognitive errors that lead to promiscuous, and varying unethical, activities. Yet how oft is the concept of position minimalized? When a woman gets married for wealth, honors, and prestige is she not in fact “selling” her body and sexual labor to one man, her husband, and is not this prostitution. “Marriage is for woman the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution. – Bertrand Russell, Marriage and Morals.
The mindset is prostitutions greatest protector and must be it’s undoing through educating the masses on moral constructs of behavior. The responsibility for changing the mindset of prostitutes and their cliental is not singular to the participants. No, it is as much fault of those who indulge in pornography, paid sex, casual sex, and all it’s counterparts as it is for those women who are apart of it’s creation and distribution. Those men who generate the increased demand for sexuality are more, if nor more-so, the “home wreckers” of society.
It is the responsibility of the society to ensure that moral-codes are upheld, that each individual dose their part in exercising self-restraint and denies themselves momentary “harmful” pleasure for the betterment of the collective. It is a harmful activity to be self-centered and selfish. The principledcentered life of an individual who is educated about moral structures will do more for society than allowing it’s participants to act freely according to personal desires.
