Hey! Why aren’t people looking at me?! I am clearly so much better than you will ever be! I just got an enormous raise at my fancy new job and I’ve only been there for two weeks! I am obviously a million times better than you, so I will no longer waste my time speaking to somebody like you. The statements made from up above are just a few things people could hear from a person suffering with Narcissistic Personality disorder. What exactly is Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Narcissistic Personality Disorder according to (Mayoclinic, 2014) “is a medical condition where a person has an over inflated sense of self-importance.
NPD can’t be cured, however, treatment by a medical professional may help because it is a condition that has to be medically diagnosed. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a chronic disease and has the possibility to either last years or in some instances a lifetime. Although NPD is a condition that has to be medically diagnosed, there are certain symptoms that can help foretell if someone has contracted NPD. Some of the symptoms of NPD include an excessive need for admiration, an extreme disregard for others’ feelings, an inability to handle any criticism, and a sense of entitlement.
People may also experience grandiosity, callous and unemotional traits, receptor antagonist, or social isolation. Most people with NPD have over inflated egos because they believe that they are of the utmost importance. People suffering from NPD are most often times out of touch with reality and everything in it due to their arrogance and sense of self-importance. Although many celebrities and other famous people have very over inflated egos, not all of them suffer from NPD.
You would recognize many famous people that have either been officially diagnosed with NPD or were thought to have NPD. According to (Burgemeester, 2013) “some of these people include Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Lee Harvey Oswald, Madonna, Pablo Picasso, Marilyn Manson, O. J. Simpson, Donald Trump, Joseph Stalin, and Kanye West. All of these people have some symptom of NPD. ” According to (Cherry, 2016) “the concept of narcissism dates back thousands of years, narcissistic personality disorder only became a recognized illness within the last 50 years.
To help us better understand how psychoanalysts, researchers, and psychologists view NPD it is essential to look, see, and understand where this disorder first originated. Narcissistic personality disorder first came about in ancient Greek mythology. According to the myth, there once was a young man named Narcissus who was extremely handsome. When he stared at his Adonis like reflection on the water for the first time, he became so mesmerized, and entranced with the image he saw in the water that he could not stop gazing at it.
He remained at the water’s edge until he eventually died. The concept of excessive self-admiration has also been explored by various philosophers throughout history. In the past, the idea was known as “hubris, a state of extreme arrogance that often involves being out of touch with reality. ” As previously stated, being out of touch with reality is a symptom commonly seen in people with NPD. It wasn’t until the early 1900’s that the conception of narcissism being a disorder became a subject of scientific interest in the field of psychology.
Throughout the early 1900s, the rising topic of narcissism started to attract interest in the growing field of thought known as psychoanalysis, or as many know it, psychology. Austrian sychoanalyst Otto Rank published one of the earliest descriptions of narcissism in 1911, he connected it to self-admiration. In 1914, the famous neurologist Sigmund Freud, also known as the father of psychoanalysis, published a paper that was named “On Narcissism: An Introduction. Freud had an idea that narcissism and all of its traits are a normal part of a human’s psyche.
He referred to this as “primary narcissism, or the energy that lies behind each person’s survival instincts. ” In Freud’s next theory, “the theory of personality”, people are born without a basic sense of self. Only the experiences that occur during infancy and early childhood determines what a person’s ego, or a sense of self. “As children age and start to connect with the world, they start to learn what is socially acceptable and the cultural expectations leading to the development of an ego.
Also, one other important part of Freud’s theory, is the idea that when a person loves one’s self that same love could be transferred onto another person. By giving away love, Freud suggested that people experienced “diminished primary narcissism, leaving them less able to nurture, and defend themselves. In order to restore this, he believed that receiving love and affection in return was crucial. ”
During the period of the 1960s and the 1970s, psychoanalysts Otto Kernberg and Heinz Kohut began to take interest in the topic of narcissism. In 1967, Kernberg introduced the term “narcissistic personality structure. He developed a theory of narcissism that suggested three major types: “normal adult narcissism, normal infantile narcissism and pathological narcissism. ” In 1968, Kohut was the first to introduce the term “narcissistic personality disorder. He later went started to take some of Freud’s ideas and thoughts on narcissism and further research them. Narcissism played an important role in Kohut’s theory of self-psychology.
The self-psychology theory suggested that “narcissism allows people to suppress feelings of low self-esteem and develop a sense of themselves. Also, according to Freud, “primary narcissism is developed during the oral and anal stages of life and it is crucial that it is developed. So that in the middle and later stages of life people can maintain themselves psychologically. As earlier stated a human needs to have a parent(s) present during infancy and early childhood so that they can develop the ability to feel and love. Without having anything to solidify themselves in the earliest and most influential part of their life, they will not be able to sympathize with anyone later in life.
In many cases of narcissism, parental neglect of some sort has always been present. A child that is born to a parent with narcissistic qualities will most likely become a narcissist themselves. The fact that they were raised by a narcissist and that they will know no other way to act than the way they were brought up automatically makes them susceptible to the disorder. However, just because a child is born to a parent that has narcissism does not mean that the child will develop narcissism to the same degree that their parent(s) have.
It is very hard to be born to a parent with narcissism. A narcissist needs absolute control and power over everything they do and their surroundings. If a narcissist feels like they have lost this power and their control they so desperately cleave to, it could cause them to spiral out of control nd start hurting others. Most narcissists avoid having children because they do not want to have to nurture and hold the hand of their offspring throughout their life. If a narcissist is to have children, they will have hit the jackpot psychologically speaking.
They will have all of the power and control that they could ever imagine. The child will not tell their parent no or try to rebel against the rules that have been set for them. According to (Meyers, 2014) “The child of the narcissist realizes early on in their life that he or she exists to provide a reflection of the parent and to serve the parent, not the other way around. Complete control over someone else is the one thing a narcissist needs to survive, and it’s the one thing they will try overly hard to achieve.
In reality, the life of a narcissist is ultimately pretty depressing and sad from the perspective of a normal person. “Young children of narcissists learn early in life that everything they do is a reflection on the parent to the point that the child must fit into the personality and behavioral mold intended for them. Children have to face overbearing amounts of anxiety and fear from such a young age that they consistently have to put away their own personality to please their parent by following the ideal of the parent.
If the children fail to please the narcissistic parents by not coping with the personality the parent seeks then the children face punishment. The parent(s) will essentially outmode the child by avoiding the young child, or ignoring them for hours, days, or weeks. With young children the parent suffering from narcissistic personality disorder is extremely hard to understand. Imagine what it would be like trying to understand a narcissistic parent as a young child!
The parent really screws the child in essence because they make it where they are incapable of being a normal person because all the child knows is what the parent expects of them. These children begin to build intense shame and soon begin to think “I keep failing my Mom” which leads to pent up anger that the child in return turns on himself as “I’m so stupid”, or “Something’s wrong with me. The bond between the narcissistic parent and young child is extremely poor and weak.
When it comes down to it the child doesn’t feel consistently loved that’s the bottom line. The child is taught the “metaphoric Narcissistic Parenting Program: You’re only as good as I say you are, and you’ll be loved only if you’re fully compliant with my wishes. Simply put, it’s truly heartbreaking for the child,” though the narcissistic parent is insanely oblivious to their actions towards their child. The parent just doesn’t realize how much they are messing up their children.
As earlier stated, NPD can’t be cured but it can be treated. According to (Mayo Clinic, 2014) “Psychotherapy is the most common treatment used when dealing with NPD. ” Psychotherapy can help you learn to relate better with others so your relationships are more intimate, enjoyable and rewarding. It will also help you to understand the causes of your emotions and what drives you to compete, to distrust others, and perhaps to despise yourself and others. Because personality traits can be difficult to change, therapy may take several years.
Areas of change are directed at helping you accept responsibility, and learning to accept and maintain real personal relationships and collaboration with co-workers, recognizing and accepting your actual competence and potential so you can tolerate criticisms or failures and increase your ability to understand and regulate your feelings, how to understand and tolerate the impact of issues related to your self-esteem, and finally to release your desire for unattainable goals and ideal conditions and gain an acceptance of what’s attainable and what you can accomplish.
Although there are no medications specifically used to treat narcissistic personality disorder, consulting a medical professional about your condition is highly recommended. However, if you have symptoms of depression, anxiety or other conditions, medications such as antidepressants or anti-anxiety drugs may be very helpful. Since people with NPD need absolute power and control to feel safe and comfortable, they may be skeptical about accepting treatment. However it is extremely important to keep an open mind about treatment and the options it comes with.
You have to stick with your treatment plan, attend all scheduled therapy sessions and take all medications as directed. Educate yourself about NPD. Learn how the disease works and what it does so that you become familiar with its symptoms. Learn the risks and all treatment options. All of your addictions, depression, anxiety and stress can feed off each other. This could lead to a cycle of emotional pain and unhealthy behavior. All methods of stress relief that are entirely healthy are recommended. Many medical experts would recommend you try yoga, tai chi, or meditation; as these are all soothing and calming.
Always stay focused on your goal. Recovering from narcissistic personality disorder takes time. Try to stay motivated by keeping your recovery goals in mind. Remind yourself that you can work to repair damaged relationships and gradually become happier with your life and all of the people in it. Because the cause of narcissistic personality disorder is unknown, there’s no known way to prevent the condition. However, it is often helpful to get treatment as soon as possible for childhood mental health problems.
Participating in family therapy to learn healthy ways to communicate or to cope with conflicts or emotional distress is also an extremely helpful exercise. You should also attend parenting classes and seek guidance from therapists or social workers if needed. There is always someone somewhere willing to help people suffering from NPD. It is very key to find these people and seek their help immediately. This will help you to get back to leading a much more normal and much healthier life. It will also make you a much more likeable person, and make you more fun and enjoyable to the rest of your surroundings and the people in them.
