INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
AQUARIAN sits on the couch in a typical, suburban living room while her parents (ROMERO and LILITH), clothed in black robes, stand waving their hands and wagging their fingers, clearly lecturing.
LILITH
I cannot believe you! Where is your dedication to the Dark One?
ROMERO
By the time she was ten Sabrina was preforming sacrifices weekly.
AQUARIAN
Sacrificing goats isn’t the only way to be spiritual, you know.
LILITH
How often do you go to Necronomicon study? When’s the last time you honored the Grotto?
ROMERO
We worried by all this Christian rock you’ve been listening to.
AQUARIAN
It’s not Christian rock. They’re Christian making rock music. Is there something wrong with being Christian?
LILITH
It’s wrong because it strays from the teachings of our Black Prince.
LILITH
Don’t interrupt me. Your father and I are afraid these influences are warping your mind.
ROMERO
If you don’t shape up we’ll have to force you go to Ziggoraut Camp this year.
AQUARIAN
I hate Ziggoraut Camp!
LILITH
Think about that the next time you skip black mass.
ROMERO
Go to your room and study The Lesser Book of Spells.
Aquarian gets up with a moan and trugdes to her room.
INT. Aquarian’s ROOM – NIGHT
Aquarian jumps into her bed and sighs. She picks up a book from her shelf and begins reading only to be interrupted. She winces and looks down at her finger to see blood dripping onto the page from a paper cut.
AQUARIAN
Aw, Satan dammit.
Black smoke fills the small room and a man with red skin, goatee, and goat legs appear.
AQUARIAN
Speak of the devil.
SATAN
I have been summoned. What do you ask of me?
AQUARIAN
I’m sorry for your inconvenience, but I didn’t summon you.
SATAN
Of course you did, insolent servant. A blood spell was made.
AQUARIAN
I don’t know how to do that even wait-
Aquarian looks down at her finger. The Devil follows her gaze. They look at each other.
SATAN
Even if accidental, the way this works is that you ask something of me, I fulfill it, and then I get to go back home.
AQUARIAN
I don’t even like this stuff, This is my parent’s religion. Also, I’m not dumb. I know how this works. I ask for something selfish and then you twist it up so it screws me over to teach me a lesson or something.
SATAN
I just want to go home. I promise I won’t ‘screw’ you over.
AQUARIAN
The Devil’s promise doesn’t mean a lot.
SATAN
Just ask me for an apple. There’s nothing I could do to mess that up.
AQUARIAN
Poison apple. Snow White, ever heard of it?
SATAN
Ridiculous child. When you meet your demise I promise I will torture-
AQUARIAN
I get it, I get it. I’ll guess I want an apple.
the Devil
Good.
An apple appears in Satan’s hand, which he hands to Aquarian
AQUARIAN
Hey Devil, before you go. I want to ask you something. Why are you in such a hurry to get home?
SATAN
Even the prince of darkness loves Game of Thrones.
Black smokes starts to fill the room once again but then dissipates. The Devil looks embarrassed.
SATAN
Oh, let me just try that again.
The same result. He keeps on trying until the smoke doesn’t even appear anymore.
AQUARIAN
You wanna call a Uber?
SATAN
I don’t like sitting in front.
AQUARIAN
Since you don’t seem to be going anywhere you want some of this apple. We can share.
SATAN
No, I’d feel awful.
AQUARIAN
Why?
