There are some television shows that run for a couple of seasons and then get cut, then there are shows that make a person think ‘how is it even possible to run for that many seasons? ’ Friends is one of those shows. Friends has been a huge part of my childhood, my parents watched it so I watched it, we would view the new episode every week. There were new episodes coming out for the first eight years of my life, and of course I continued to watch reruns after that. I remember watching the final episode air on tv and crying because it was over, silly?
Yes. But a lot of Americans had the same reaction as an eight year old girl. People are able to easily identify with the characters and situations, which makes it so entertaining to watch. Friends resonated with Americans so much that it then got broadcasted in 24 other countries and got nominated 211 times for a variety of awards and won 69 times (IMDb. com). Even though it has been off the air for 12 years it continues to be relevant, the reruns are still on TV and you can find memes, references, and quotes all over the internet and social media.
Friends is an iconic TV show, because of its relatability and it continues to win the hearts of many. Some of the most fundamental life struggles and joys are represented in Friends, which makes it all the more relatable. One of the biggest focuses is on relationships, romantic, work, family, and of course friendships. The show explores each type of relationship from different angles and approaches through all of the characters. Looking just at romantic relationships a person could probably spend their whole life examining all the romance in this show, so I will just explore the main love interest.
Rachel Green and Ross Geller are the couple that are on and off through the whole series. Ross had a crush on Rachel since high school and the series begins with Rachel running out on her wedding day and Ross divorcing his lesbian wife, so right from the start viewers are rooting for them to get together. They do, but then they break up and this happens several times, once they get married in Las Vegas and divorced, have a baby, and in the very last episode Rachel decides to not work in Paris so she can be with Ross again.
Looking back on their story it is almost exhausting thinking about the ups and downs, but it is interesting, at points their love is unrequited but at others either one or both of them have put their whole heart on the line for each other. No matter how many times they break up and get back together viewers never get tired of watching it, because their relationship represents many romantic relationships all over the world. A lot of people have that one person that no matter how much they think they have moved on will always hold a little piece of their heart, and it always slightly hurts when they get a new significant other.
A very common family system is one where there is a child that the parents favor and another that falls by the wayside or gets the second best, that is Monica and Ross Geller. They are the most clear family picture because both siblings are represented through the whole series and their parents are recurring characters. Ross is the oldest and the favorite, he was always very smart and has turned into a successful man while Monica was always very average and used to be overweight as a child and her Mother does not view her job as a chef as respectable as Ross’s paleontology career.
Within this American ideals are prevalent, Ross who went to college, got his doctorate, and is a college professor all at a very young age is seen as the more successful one whereas Monica who cooks for a living is not given as much praise. An ideal from culture that is represented in Friends is that to be thin is to be beautiful, “The one with all the Thanksgivings” is an episode where the gang remembers when Chandler ate Thanksgiving dinner with Ross’s family during their college years, Chandler calls Monica fat behind her back.
Of course, Monica overhears and is deeply offended, which triggers her major weight loss. All of the main characters are in ideal physical condition, the women are very thin and always beautiful, the guys are pretty muscular and good looking but the side characters that are portrayed in a negative light are typically larger and/or not nice looking. For example, the Character “Ugly Naked Guy”, who is never actually given a name, he lives across the street from Monica’s apartment so the main cast can see into his window and typically poke fun at him.
He is only shown on camera twice, once was just his stomach protruding and the other was from behind, with props in all the right places. The man who played this character was never credited and his face never shown, but viewers do know that he is very overweight and not good looking. He is a beloved side character, but without proper recognition in role or credit one has to come to the conclusion that overweight people are not as important as the thin side characters, some appearing as much as the Ugly Naked Guy, if not less, and still get credit.
Of course in a show called Friends friendships are going to be valued greatly, the viewers watch as the characters sacrifice, fight, comfort, and laugh together. Friends are a huge part in everyone’s life, most people put their friends up at the top of their priority list, much like the characters do. Many times through the series they support each other by attending events, Joey’s bad plays, Ross’s boring lectures, or simply just going to a wedding as a date. They may have not wanted to go, but they still did and most times they had fun.
There is a sense that these six people would do anything for each other, promoting a lifestyle of sacrifice for loved ones. Even though there are moments of sacrifice there is a definite presences of individualism, both utilitarian and expressive. In the utilitarian sense of individualism a person is just looking out for their own interests, this can primarily be seen when the main characters interact with others. The first episode Rachel has run out of her wedding and she is on the phone with her father telling him why she ran out “It’s like all my life everybody keeps telling that I’m a shoe.
You’re a shoe, you’re a shoe, you’re a shoe! But what if I don’t want to be a shoe anymore? Maybe I’m a purse, or a hat” (IMDb. com). Here Rachel clearly was looking out for what she wanted, of course she shouldn’t have stayed with her fiance since she was not happy, but she clearly has herself on her mind or else she may have ended the engagement with more care. The whole character of Rachel begins very individualistic, but as the seasons go on she becomes more and more caring for others, especially when she has her daughter Emma.
Expressive individualism on the other hand can not be described better than Phoebe, she is probably one of the best examples from any show on TV. Expressive individualism is when a person breaks social norms to become unique. Her story from the beginning breaks social norms, her Dad left when she was young and her mom killed herself when Phoebe was young. She has lived on the streets for a while and the only family she has is her evil twin sister, a half brother, and a grandmother that passed away about half way through the series.
Her profession is a masseuse, she wants to be a folk singer, and believes in reincarnation. She is one of the most lovable characters because of her quirkiness and free spirit. One of the biggest societal norms she broke was carrying her half brother’s babies, it sounds horrible, but she was artificially inseminated with her brother’s sperm and his wife’s eggs so there was no insest involved. She would often tell strangers that she was carrying her brother’s child just to get a rise out of them, which is good for comic relief, but is still a bit weird.
A huge worldview found in Friends is consumerism. One of the most common activities the friends do is go out for coffee, most likely spending a lot of money on drinks when they could be drinking coffee in someone’s apartment. The coffee shop that the friends frequented, called Central Perk, was so popular in the show that there is now a coffee shop in New York City by the same name and design. It was not just coffee that the friends would buy, but they seem to try to find happiness in clothing and furniture.
In an episode titled “The One With Monica’s Boots” Monica buys a pair of very nice Italian leather boots that she is in love with, but they were extremely expensive. Chandler, who she was dating at the time, was disapproving of her purchase but to prove to him it was worth it she wore them all the time, but they turned out to be too small causing Monica immense pain. She would not let go of the boots because they brought her joy even though they were painful, by the end of the episode she lost the boots thankfully no longer finding fulfillment in them.
Another example of consumerism is “The One With the Apothecary Table” Rachel and Phoebe have moved in together so shop-a-holic Rachel goes out to buy new furniture, she gets a coffee table from Pottery Barn which she loves but knows Phoebe will hate, because it is mass manufactured. In order to keep the table and please Phoebe, Rachel claims she got it from a flea market and then proceeds to buy more things from Pottery Barn continuing the lie. Rachel’s priority was to consume more than to be honest with her friend or comply with Phoebe’s wishes.
The lie gets revealed when Ross buys the same table and Phoebe sees it, then Phoebe gives up her convictions because she likes the Pottery Barn items so much, choosing consumerism over personal beliefs. Consumerism is not only represented by buying things, but also by viewing people as objects to be used. This is a common theme through the entire series, especially with the character of Joey. In the first episode Ross is worrying that there is only one women for everyone and due to his divorce he will never find love again, then Joey gives him this advice “What are you talking about?
One woman? That’s like saying there’s only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something, Ross. There’s lots of flavors out there. There’s Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing. Cherry Vanilla. You could get them with jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream. This is the best thing that ever happened to you. You got married, you were, what, eight? Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon” (IMDb. com). This very simply reduces women down to nothing more than something to be sampled and there is no call to loyalty for men to stay with one women.
In the same episode Joey also says “Okay, Ross, you’re gettin’ a divorce, you’re angry, you’re hurtin’. Can I tell you what the answer is? Strip joints! Come on! You’re single! Have some hormones! ” (IMDb. com). By Joey promoting strip clubs he is essentially saying it is okay for women to run around naked as long as it is making me feel better, an individualistic and consumerist notion. His catchphrase, which is now a popular culture phrase, “How you doin’” is a pick up line, making his signature trait coming onto women.
In the episode titled “The One With the Free Porn” Joey finds a free porn station on his and Chandler’s TV, but they are too afraid to turn it off in case they cannot get it back. Once again they are promoting objectifying women for their own enjoyment. This happens throughout the series not just with Joey but all the characters, the group finds out that Rachel reads erotic novels, Chandler had a one night stand with Joey’s sister, Ross sleeps with another women less than a day after he and Rachel break up, Phoebe attempts to seduce Chandler to make a point, and it goes on and on.
None of these sexual encounters are fully satisfying to any of the characters so they continue to look for more through the whole series. Narcissism also has a large presence on Friends. One of the characteristics of narcissism is that the person is special and can only be understood by other special people, this illustrated in Ross and Joey. Ross makes a pros and cons list of Rachel and another girl, Julie, to decide which one he should date, under Rachel’s cons he wrote “just a waitress”, implying that she is beneath him because she has no other skills or schooling.
Rachel came from a wealthy family so being a waitress in the first place is a humbling act, and for Ross (a person she loves and trust more than anyone) to put that down is a horribly self-centered thing to do. Joey demonstrates narcissism when it comes to his acting career, he got his big break when Days of our Lives offered him a part, but he is always cautious of inviting his best friends around the cast.
Joey has been secretly planning and hosting cast parties every year and the group of friends find out about it, when asked why he never invited them he says that “everyone else acts like an idiot around famous people! ” (IMDb. com). He would rather have his co-workers perceive him in a certain way rather than inviting his best friends to a party that he is hosting. As much as the main characters do love each other there are times of selfish and conceited moments. Friends is still one of my all time favorite shows, but I think there are some things to be cautious about when watching.
It is important to keep in mind that all people are beautiful no matter what size or shape they are, reflecting back on this I can see how the lie of “only thin is beautiful” has taken root in my life and I am sure Friends did not help. In America there is already a large pressure for 20 somethings to find someone to settle down with and in the show each character feels that, I think they try to fill that by having multiple sex partners. This can be very damaging to mental and physical health not to mention the risk of having a child.
Observing this from a christian view I would say to abstain from having sex, there is nothing wrong with dating, I actually think it is good to go on dates with people, because how else will you find out the type of person you fit well with? However, there should be respect of the other person and yourself in those relationships. The characters do show genuine love, care, and concern for one another, but like all human love it is flawed. Friends should not be viewed with unseeing eyes, but with eyes open to these issues and turn away from these tendencies in our own lives.
