Self-esteem is how people value themselves; it affects every part of their lives. Positive self-esteem gives people confidence in whatever they do and prevents them from the hardships of rejection or failure. The psychological immune system intertwines with self-esteem by helping people cope with negative responses or outcomes. It allows people to make mistakes and learn from them and give them the ability to accept mistakes from others.
In the readings, “Immune to Reality” by Daniel Gilbert, and” An Army of One: Me” by Jean Twenge, both authors arrive at an agreement that living and facing reality defines a person’s emotions, character, and behavior. In today’s society, raising self-esteem is one of the main priorities schools want to enforce on their students. The self-esteem curriculum is taught by parents, schools, sports teams, the media, and books. Schools have specifically designed programs to increase their students’ self-esteem. It is good to encourage young children to adapt a high self-esteem.
A child only has so much time to be naive and accepting and it is during this time that enforcement of a high self-esteem should be applied. However, there should be a time frame where this curriculum dwindles. The correlation between student growth and use of self-esteem programs should occur in opposite directions of each other. As students get older the use of this curriculum should be cut back. If the curriculum is applied correctly then those students will be able to grow and face the reality of life. Encouragement leads to inspiration and motivation.
It comes from support from an outside factor, most often it comes from another person. It gives someone an uplifting message to raise their spirit. Encouragement is mostly given when people are on the fringe of giving up or are put into a difficult situation. Certainly, self-esteem is a very important component to a child’s success in not only school but for the rest of their lives. The curriculum discusses and supports its students. It can be a difficult time for a young child in school, they are in a new environment and are going through new changes; so encouraging them can become beneficial.
Twenge states that “teacher training courses often emphasize that a child’s self-esteem must be preserved above all else” (766) as well as “offering up self-esteem as the cure for about everything” (767). These efforts of encouraging higher selfesteem indeed have their impacts on younger children. Encouragement is a factor of achieving higher self-esteem, which is why schools and programs directly connect it to their students. When students are young they should receive more self-esteem tools. For example, when children are told that they are special and important, it boosts their morale which motivates them to continue to be that way.
This curriculum should focus more on the younger age group of children, rather than treating every age group similarly, by using the same applications. For example, teens should not be rewarded for receiving a C-grade on a test. Instead, they should accept the fact that they did not perform average or above average and realize that they just have to move on and make sure they do better the next time. Gilbert agrees that “when [children] expose [themselves] to favorable facts, notice and remember favorable facts, and hold favorable facts to a fairly low standard or proof, [they] are generally no more aware of [their] subterfuge” (134).
When those favorable facts are embedded into the student’s mind, they tend to become insensible of them, which lead them to constantly expect it in the future. The endless force of self-esteem does not set up students for the real world. Whether an outcome is positive or negative it helps a person take in reality. This helps them improve their self-esteem and allows them to understand that failure is an option, and that is okay. When children are young, it is okay to give them a sense of encouragement. However, when it becomes excessive, problems tend to arise as those children develop.
When parents and teachers condition their children to be special for no apparent reason, it takes their reality away. Twenge approaches this idea by saying, “[c]hildren develop true self-esteem from behaving well and accomplishing things” (772). People need to understand that their actions can help improve their selfesteem. When people actually do things, no matter if they failed or succeeded, specifically in the short-term, they should feel a sense of pride in which they tried and put in an effort. By giving someone compliments for doing absolutely nothing does give that person a true meaning of why they deserve that compliment.
In relation to Twenge’s view that self-esteem is developed by actions, Gilbert states, “[fjor positive views to be credible, they must be based on facts that we believe we have come upon honestly” (135). Individuals value the reasoning behind the compliments they receive. So, if young students are being told every day that they are special, with no actual evidence that they are, then that is going to negatively shape them as they grow older. They are going to anticipate their complements, which will tentatively lead them to become narcissistic. People must earn their compliments and receive awards based on facts and reason.
The results of this will let people cope with the real world. Most of the time people do not always get what they want; they fail and that is what reality is. Whether it is objects, people, authority, admiration, or agreeance, at some point, a person will not receive the outcome they desire. But, when a person does get everything they want, they tend to expect it more and more which pulls away from their emotion connection. Just like if a child receives continuous compliments, the first compliment can bring a certain joy or happiness, but next compliment after the next the emotion fades.
The teachers providing this curriculum must understand that rewarding their students, by telling them they are special and wonderful, may not result in authentic happiness. When students are “[s]aying that having self-esteem makes [them] feel positive about [themselves]–forget any actual reason–is exactly what the self-esteem programs have taught today’s young generation since they were in kindergarten” (Twenge 768). If a student is constantly told that they should feel or behave a certain way, then the probability of that student truly feeling that way is unlikely.
It is doubtful that a child will genuinely act in a specific way if a person tells them to behave or act a way. Yet, in difficult times, the psychological immune system is there to defend those children against unhappiness. If children are in a scenario in which they are being told to feel a certain way and “the experience [they] are having is not the experience [they] want to be having, [their] first reaction is to go out and have a different one” (Gilbert 141). As those students grow and get older, their self-esteem can become assimilated with their psychological immune system.
If this curriculum focuses on building a strong base of the psychological immune system, it can lead children to have the ability to cope with reality rather than undergoing a breakdown. However, if the curriculum does not allow students to experience failure then their psychological immune system will not recognize when it is needed. In today’s society, parents can be considered as overprotective and failureavoiding. This form of parenting does not establish a firm ground for their children, instead, it has weakened their competence, independence and potential of becoming selfless adults.
Failure is something that helps people grow mentally stronger. However, teachers and parents have ended up teaching their students to fear failure, in which blocks their confident path to success. Children should “feel bad if they didn’t work hard and try. And even if they don’t succeed, sometimes negative feelings can be a motivator” (Twenge 772). When a person can find ways to cope with defeat, then ultimately they will be able to find ways to face reality, and most times it is beneficial.
Yet, if teachers and parents create a bubble round their children, to protect them from challenges, failures, and uncertainty than those children will never have the opportunity to experience the actuality of life. Preventing challenges and failures can put a halt to their psychological immune system which will hinder their systems ability to grow. Facing reality and learning from experiences, whether good or bad, allows people to “see how and why an event happened, which immediately allows [them] to see how and why it might happen again” (Gilbert 144).
When a child lives in reality, it will help them grow and understand experiences and their possible outcomes. Children need to be able to deal with failing a spelling test before they deal with getting fired from a job. Being able to deal with small failures results in a larger impact for future failures. If this curriculum is assembled correctly, then it can support children to face and survive the real world. The selfesteem curriculum is constructed to make children have a strong and positive view self-esteem. However, if it is applied excessively, then it will not benefit those children for the real world.
Prevention of failure will not let a child grow, nor allow their psychological immune system to become prepared as they get older. The amount of curriculum used and growth in age should be inversely correlated. This will result in children becoming aware and prepared for reality as adults. As well as understanding that achievements and accomplishments will be rewarded with real emotion. With exposure to bits and pieces of reality at a young age, can build up a person’s self-esteem and consciousness of failure and challenges as they develop.