It’s not what you say, it’s how you say. Parents have a lot on their mind, and sometimes, it’s tough to slow down and focus on how they’re communicating. The style you use when speaking is as important as the words you choose. If you speak hurriedly, your listener will most likely come away with an impression that you were preoccupied or in a hurry, regardless of what you said. Most people are unconscious of their body language, but it speaks volumes about what they’re really thinking.
Watching your body language as well as that of your child can elp you learn to modify what you say so that your child hears you. Some things to watch for (in your kids and in Body posture. When you speak, are you slouching or turned away from your child? Do you point a finger Facial expression. Are your eyebrows furrowed or raised? Are you smiling, squinting, or crying? Is your Your voice. Is your tone sarcastic, sneering, or accusatory? Are you whining or shouting? Your words. Do you command instead of communicate, tell instead of suggest?
Are your words ambiguous, biting, or accusatory? Your mood. Are you tired, preoccupied, frustrated or irritable? Are you focused on the situation at hand? If you recognize some of these tendencies in yourself, make a concerted effort to change your manner because they only hinder communication. If you aren’t sure what your body language says while you’re speaking, try to be more aware and take control of yourself the next time you speak with your child. When your body language echoes the sentiments you’re expressing, you make it easier for your child to understand you.
I think that in terms of body language, nobody beats the Italians in sheer number of gestures. I have a book with at least 50 different ones, and that doesn’t include the obscene category. But Brazilians are not very far behind (try watching Brazilian TV news… they can’t talk in Brazil without using their hands! ). Our gallery of permitted body language and gestures to avoid has grown over the past year, so we now have a number of different pages. By the way, I just had an experience in Rio which made me realize how important this page really is.
I shared a taxi with a Canadian who was there on business. He was a bit leery of taking taxis because he had seen a taxi driver doing a gesture which he couldn’t understand and thought might mean something bad… well, it turned out that the driver had been making the gesture for “full. ” Check out the pages listed below and be a savvy http://www. maria-brazil. org/gestures. htm Japanese place great worth on nonverbal language. Verbal skills show superficiality to most Japanese in contrast to the inner, less articulate feelings communicated through body language or by innuendo.
One is often expected to sense another person’s feelings on a subject without verbal communication. A person’s views unfold as he/she sees how others react; much is suggested by indirectness and vague implication. What appears ambiguous on the surface is really not— the Japanese merely place more importance on action than the spoken word. Part of this emphasis on body language is due to the importance and pride of being part of a group in Japanese society. This pervading group consciousness makes the Japanese avoid open onfrontations in order to promote harmony among people in the group.
Conformity in behavior within the context of the group and in appearance is also characteristic of the Japanese. It is impolite to yawn. This is offensive to Japanese hosts. Sit straight in chairs with your feet on the floor. The bottom of your feet should not be displayed. Cross your legs only at the knees and ankles. Resting your foot on the opposite leg’s knee is considered impolite because the bottom of your foot is considered unclean and offensive. Beckoning is done by waving your entire hand.
It is acceptable to point with your entire hand at anything. Cover your mouth when picking your teeth. It is considered an unhealthy, polluting activity around other people especially while eating a meal. The Japanese tend to avoid directly saying “No” in order to promote harmony with other people. The Japanese have an aversion to open displays of feelings except drunkenness and sentimentality. The Japanese smile in embarrassment, sorrow, and joy because of their desire to hide emotion. Laughter does not always mean amusement.
Laughter may be a sign of embarrassment or uncomfortableness depending on the context. It is typical to avoid direct signs of emotion. Behaving in conformity with the crowd is very important. This promotes understanding between people and unity—key Businessmen wear suits and ties. Proper dress is necessary for different occasions. When visiting someone for dinner, the hierarchy of relations between the people eating determines the order and position of the seating arrangement. This displays your identity and place within the group.