I am an 18-year old that is mature and knows what she wants. I go after my goals, and I stay positive through tough times by smiling.
I change my mind a lot, but I know that’s just part of being a teenager and “finding myself.” I’m not sure what else to change in myself. I love who I am, but there are always things we can work on to make ourselves better people. For example, I would like to change how impatient I am. I often times get anxious and irritable when things don’t go as planned or as fast as I want them too.
I would like to change the way I act around my parents at times. I find myself being aggressive with my mom, even though she hasn’t done anything wrong, and with my dad I feel like I don’t show any interest in anything he has to say or show me.
Also, I would like to change the way I am with my friends. There are times when they need me and I completely ignore them because I’m too focused on myself. And lastly, I would like to change the way I handle stress and anxiety. Instead of just ignoring it, I want to be proactive and try to do things that will help me calm down instead of making the situation worse.
What irritates me is not just physically, but also emotionally and mentally. Emotionally because it offends me that I am like this with them yet I don’t usually am, and intellectually because I know I shouldn’t be like this towards them. What caused me to become such a person if you’re wondering is my youth; I had a horrible childhood.
I was always the black sheep, never good enough, always getting in trouble and I was always surrounded by people who didn’t understand me. So now that I have my own family I guess I am projecting what I went through as a child onto them. Even though I know it’s not their fault and they don’t deserve it.
The change I would like to see in myself is to be more patient with my family and to try and see things from their perspective instead of just my own. To try and understand why they do things instead of immediately getting angry or upset. And to stop lashing out at them when something goes wrong, because I know it’s not their fault and they don’t deserve it.
I know it’s going to be hard, but I am willing to try because I love them and I don’t want to lose them. And I know that if I don’t change, things will only get worse. So wish me luck!
I grew up witnessing verbal abuse, and every time my dad would make my mom cry, I would go to her asking why she was crying even though I already knew the answer. She would respond with a hatred-filled voice. Once she was done crying and seemed to be doing things to keep her mind occupied, I would go back and ask if she was okay. More often than not, she reply “Leave me alone,” said in an irritated tone.
So, I would act like I was doing something else and keep an eye on her. If she would start to cry again I would go back and try to comfort her. She would then say “I don’t need your help” in a rude voice and push me away. So, I stopped trying to help her because it only made things worse. From that day on I change the way I see things when it comes to family members or friends crying.
If they are crying from happiness then its all good but if they are crying from sadness or pain, instead of going up to them and asking what’s wrong? I would give them their space because that is what they need at that moment, their own space without anyone bothering them. And that’s what I would like to change in myself, not being afraid to go up to a family member or close friend when they are crying and trying to help them even if they reject my help.
My dad stopped talking to me when he and my mom started arguing. My dad says that his way of showing love is by buying me material things, but I realized as I grew up that those things aren’t everything.
I would like my dad to change the way he shows his love and attention to me. I would also like to change the way I handle stress and anxiety, I tend to let it get to me and then everything crumbles. I overthink things that haven’t even happen, for example, if I have a presentation at school, I think about all the things that could go wrong instead of being confident and optimistic. This change will not only help me in school but in life as well.
Lastly, I would like to change my procrastination habits. Whenever I have an assignment or project due, I always wait until the last minute to start it which leaves me feeling stressed and overwhelmed. If I change this habit, I know I will be able to get things done in a timely manner and have less stress in my life.
Making these changes in myself will not only make me a better person but it will also help me in every aspect of my life.