My Aunt is Here
I miss you… How are you old friend? We couldn’t talk for a long time, since that day, since she came to the world. I don’t even have time for a nap now. I can’t sleep because she always cries. I can’t sleep because she always needs to be breastfeeded.I just can’t.. I am really sorry that I ignore you. I have so much to share with you. Oh God! He is coming, I ought to go now.
Ohh my only friend… I have been ignoring you. But I know that you would understand me. Tonight at least she could sleep without crying. I hope she wouldn’t wake up until he comes, then we can talk.I have a new life now. I have a baby. She is such a beautiful girl. It is very deplorable that she is going to be like us, like every girl in the society. Do you remember when my mother understood that I started having my period? I couldn’t find any explanation to her reaction. I wasn’t able to understand the reason why she cried. I thought that was a game. But now everything makes sense. Having period means I could have her. I understood the reason why my mother cried when my aunt and my elder cousin come to us with a flower bucket on their hands, that night, after the wedding. You remember, right? How much I cried canoodling you.
You are my old friend.You are my only friend. Everything was a game until that night, and everything was bearable until she comes. He is coming, I ought to go now.
I miss you…Again me. I could finally find time to come here. How are you doing here? It makes me disconsalate that I had to lock you here. I am not ashamed of you or anything like that, they just don’t let the brides to have toys, which reminds us our childhood. The government don’t want us to be a child anymore, when we have our first periods. You know what, you are a palimpsest, you remind me my past. Again I am sorry that I see you secretly. But I can’t even imagine what would they do to you, if they find out. I don’t want them to take you in my hand. You are the only thing that reminds me home. You are the only thing left from my mother. Do you remember how were we sleeping at nights, hugging each other. Sometimes even my mother joined us. Those were the days. That I could live freely, at least I thought I was free. My mother never did. She never believed that I was free, because she knew. She always made me feel that I live in order to suffer. I understand her now. Until I became 10, everything was perfect for both of us. My mother was letting me to play games, reading books, and talking with you. Do you remember the day, she gave you to me? I was the happiest child in the world. From that moment I knew that I will never be alone in my life. Everytime when I look at you, I remember that happiness, that pure childish happiness, which I may never feel again. He is coming, I ought to go now.
Ohh my only friend… You know what, no matter what I felt about her first, I kind of start to like her. She cries less. She sleeps more. Last day she said “Mom”. I can’t tell how did it make feel. I felt the enormous responsibilities all over my body. Maybe this was the first time that I felt like she was mine. She is not an object, she is a human being just like me. She is going to suffer from the same things, just like me, just like any other girl. I understood, how my mother felt when she first had me. Do you remember, how I caught her tears were coming from her eyes while she was looking at me. I couldn’t give any meaning then, but I understand now. She was pitying at me. Now I pity at her. What a vicious circle, don’t you think? Why did I have to get involve in that marriage thing? Why do we rule by theocracy? Why do the government want girls to marry immediately once they have their period?Why didn’t anyone do anything to prevent th.. He is coming, I ought to go now.
I miss you… Now she starts to walk, she is growing up, like I do. My cousin realized that my breasts got bigger, he became happy for that. Why? I don’t have time for myself. I behave nothing but perfunctory all day. I spent all my day, caring her, running the household or with him. Do you remember that I mentioned you about the first time? First he told me that we are going to play a game, I believed him. Then I taught non of the games could be that much painful. They shouldn’t be. Games should be joyful. I now understood that I don’t have joyful games in my life anymore. My life was over that night. I miss my old days. I miss the world that my mother told me. She said that girls were not just meant to get married. They were human beings. They were valuable human beings. And most importantly they could live their childhood. Now the childhood is just an anachronism. Why did they change that? Once I asked to my mom and she said I shouldn’t question anything about the society. After a while she couldn’t resist and explain to me. She said that the last prophet married 6 year old girl, and the government believe that was everything that the last prophet did is the right thing to do. Without questioning.Why?
“Why did they do to us? Don’t they care about us? You don’t have the answers, right? But at least I have you. You are my one and only friend. Oh god, he is coming. I ought to go now.
What would I do now without him? They took the only thing left from my past, that reminds me of my childhood. They said non of the girls can have toys. They said “You are not child anymore, you have a chid now. You are a mother.” Am I a mother? but I still need a mother. I have nothing now. I am all alone. I don’t have anyone to share. After all what do I have to share..