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Mdma Narrative

Thursday February 18th started out just like every other weekday. I went to school, bought a coffee, went to my classes and talked with my friends. Nothing out of the usual, nothing exciting it was just a regular day. Once school was over I walked home and went straight to my room laid down watched some Netflix talked to some friends online, as I do this most days. I took a nap from about 5pm until maybe 7pm and woke up feeling a little under the weather, I felt a bit weak, and had a cough along with a running nose and chest congestion.

It’s flu season so I didn’t think much of it, I took some Robitussin around 12am that night just prior to going to bed in hopes of waking up the next morning feeling better. Before going to bed that night I vividly remember telling my mom that I felt like I was feeling extremely lightheaded, almost as though I was floating. She does not recall me ever saying that to her. Around 3am that night I woke up sweating after tossing and turning all through the night. I remember having what I called a very vivid dream, I am only able to describe it as feeling like I was in my body but I wasn’t really there.

After that I went back to sleep only to wake up again around 5am. This time my mom woke up as well because she heard I was awake and thought it was odd that I was getting ready for school so early considering I’m notorious for sleeping in whenever possible. She came into my room and saw me sitting up in my bed, when I looked at her she instantly knew something was not right. My eyes were wide open with the pupils extremely dilated to the point where you could only see about 0. 1cm of brown in them and I was sweating.

I do not remember this happening. At this point my mom woke up my dad to come look at my eyes. He got a flashlight and shined the light in my eyes in hopes of seeing my pupils change in size, they did not. I recall telling my parents that I felt like different parts in my body kept jolting back and forth, and my arm would not stop twitching. My jaw felt like it was locked and every time I yawned I had to clinch on to it as hard as I could for at least a minute, this was out of my control.

Somehow I managed to get back to sleep where I woke up yet again around 8am and went into my parents room asking if they thought I was okay to go to school regardless of what happened last night. My mom repeatedly told me that she wanted me to stay home and get rest; I hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep the last few nights so we thought my odd behavior might have been from lack of sleep and that I had the flu. I was a bit upset since I had been doing well with attending my classes lately, which is something I usually struggle with but I said okay and I went back to bed.

This is where it gets confusing. I ended up going to school that day, I don’t remember getting ready to go to school but I do know I had gotten ready since I was partially in my school uniform and had done my makeup and hair. Looking back I remember parts of the walk to school and packing my bag but that is all. When I got to school I it was just the beginning of second period, I walked in not being able to see anyone’s faces in the halls, and had a hard time walking straight and not bumping into people.

I saw my friend Matt and told him I was feeling a bit disoriented, he agreed and said I looked out of it. I tried to avoid talking to people in the hallways and get straight to class, which is something super out of character for me. After class I planned to head to lunch with Matt and a mutual friend but when I mentioned how I still didn’t feel like myself he recommended to just go home and sleep it off instead. I took their advice and when I got home I was greeted my mom standing at the top of the stairs, I was practically dripping sweat but was very cold to the touch.

She asked me why I went to school, I didn’t have an answer. In fact at the time I didn’t remember how I even got to school or if I showered that morning. I told her about all the odd things that had happened at school, my blurred vision, not being able to focus or communicate properly, twitching, jaw locking and being off balanced. We decided to Google and see if we could come up with any good conclusions, then quickly resorted to calling Telehealth and have a trained nurse’s opinion on what our next step should be.

The nurse told us to go to emerge right away because something was not right and I needed to be treated. Once I talked to a nurse and explained what had been happening I was immediately taken to see a doctor, at this point I was relieved that I was finally going to figure out what was happening but nervous since my visits to the hospital generally take at least 3-5 hours of waiting before I am able to see a doctor. My doctor had me have a ct scan, blood work, heart check and a urine sample done right away.

If nothing was conclusive I was too had a spinal tap done and stay at the hospital for further observation. Two hours later my doctor returned with results, he asked my mom if she could step away while we talked in private. He told me that my test said I had MDMA in my system. I stop him right then and called my mom over because this is something I wanted her to hear. He told me all of my symptoms, hallucinogens jaw clenching, sweating, lack of appetite, dilated pupils, blurred vision, dehydration, muscle cramping, weakness, confusion, anxiety, and nausea were all effects of the MDMA.

But because of how severe the effects were and how long they lasted for me my doctor had said that the dose of MDMA I that I digested must have been very large and most likely cut with other types of drugs such as methamphetamine or heroine. This easily has been one of the scariest and most traumatic things that have ever happened to me. You read and see videos about people being drugged but never imagine that it would happen to you. But it then it does and your entire world gets turned upside down. Your views and perspective on things get shifted and your judgment is questioned.

I was raised to always cover my drinks while I’m out at a party or with people I am not familiar and to not accept drinks from strangers. But it had never come to my attention that I need to cover my drinks while I’m at school with my classmates and friends. School is generally a place where I have usually kept my guard down, and I am devastated knowing that it’s can’t be like that for me anymore. Going back to school is not something I look forward to, I do not feel safe, I do not feel protected. I am scared.

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