“There are roughly four hundred thousand children in the US foster care system. Of those children, approximately one hundred thousand are waiting to be adopted” (Developmental Issues for Young Children in Foster Care, 2000). Many people feel as if life is meaningless without the gift of becoming a parent. Before they consider adopting a child, many couples undergo infertility treatments, such as in-vitro fertilization. Some people are successful, but numerous people are not successful in conceiving. In-vitro fertilization treatments are expensive and do not always work.
Yet, there are not enough people adopting children within the foster care system. Why would one undergo in-vitro fertilization when he or she could give an already begotten child, who needs a parent just as much as the couple needs the child? Couples who feel the need for a child in order to make their house a home should consider adoption before in-vitro fertilization or surrogacy. When a couple chooses to adopt instead of undergoing in-vitro fertilization, the couple has more control over when they have a child, whether they have a boy or girl, and the age of the child.
On average, adoption is usually cheaper than in-vitro fertilization, and adopting is the safest option for having a child. When picturing their future family, many people know what he or she desires, and what he or she wishes to be able to control; such as, the features the child has. Most couples identify the age difference, sex, and the number of children they desire to have, furthermore; when adopting, these features are much easier to dictate. When undergoing in-vitro fertilization, there is no certainty of any of the above-listed characteristics.
Moreover, another concern is the health of the child. Many couples are afraid of health issues the child may have, however; the adopting couple can investigate the family health history before deciding to adopt. “Children need caregivers they trust, in safe and stable homes, whether they live with their biological parents, a foster family, or an adoptive family. Whenever a child is legally removed from an abusive or neglectful home and placed in foster care, permanency planning must begin to find a family to nurture that child until adulthood” (Berger, 236).
Although most couples do not choose to adopt because they want to be related to their child, being a mother or father is about caring for and loving your child, not relation. Many biological parents are not as good of parents as some adopted parents. How effective one is as a parent depends on the individual. Additionally, some couples choose not to adopt due to fear of the likelihood of the child having developmental issues; these issues are possible for any child. However, these problems can be prevented with the parent’s help.
Despite a somewhat greater risk of psychological disorder, most adoptive children thrive, especially when adopted as infants. Seven in eight report feeling strongly to one or both parents” (Meyers, 72). Parenting matters, no matter what kind of parent one is. What they put into parenting depends on what they get out, no matter what type of parent they are. Another reason that some couples choose not to adopt is that the couple is afraid that they will not bond with the child, but the strength of the bond depends on the parents.
Biological parents fail at forming strong bonds with their children as well. Again, “The intentions of the parents are more important that the biology of the child as far as human growth and development” (Thompson, 2017). One may ask if children are more like their biological parents, or their adoptive parents. Some things are plastic, others aren’t. In personality traits, adoptees are more similar to their biological parents than to their caregiving adoptive parents.
Parenting is the only factor that truly matters! The genetic leash may limit the family environment’s influence on personality, but this does not mean that adoptive parenting is a fruitless venture. Parents do influence their children’s attitudes, values, manners, faith and politics” (Meyers, 72). Although an adopted child’s personality may differ from that of the adoptee’s, many will agree that, that specific diversity is something to celebrate and not be afraid of. Despite some personality differences between adoptive family members, children will benefit from adoption.
One last control factor to consider is the time of which the child is born; that is, if one is only considering adopting an infant. This is often unpredictable and uncontrollable when getting pregnant, however; when a couple decides to adopt, the timing is manageable. Of course, you may simply end up with a different child should you wait but, when one is not ready that is okay. Although, in some cases, one may adopt through family. This is another form of adoption called kinship care.
Kinship care can be more beneficial for the child than other forms of foster care, but usually receives less services and therefore, may add stress to the lives of the guardians involved. As you can see, every situation is special. In the case of kinship care, there may not be as many services offered, but the initial cost of adoption goes away. When considering cost, every situation is different. Generally, adoption is cheaper, especially considering the fact that in-vitro fertilization may need to be attempted multiple times to achieve success.
Once we are aware of a problem, we tend to plunge ahead in search of a solution, yet often we’d do better to first reconsider the question. Reframing problems can lead to much better solutions. ” (Roth, 70). As mentioned before, every situation is different. One must ask why they want a child, if need or simply want them, and what the cost really means to them. In an interview with a former foster mother Christina asked “From the viewpoint of a foster mom, what would you want for your child before being able to bring them home after adoption? Paula replied with “Two thousand square feet of bubble wrap. ”
While humerous, obviously this is not feasible, Paula was simply trying to convey her concern of safety for the child prior to being placed in her safe keeping. As a good parent, one is protective in love for their child. Prior to adopting, one will not only wish for what is best for the child, but fret over the child’s mental and physical safety. Safety of the child is a concern of every good and loving parent. They must also consider the safety of the mother though.
When adopting, the mother will not undergo any pregnancy or birth complications that the birth mother will risk. Again, this factor will vary from couple to couple. “As children of self-giving parents, they grow up to be more self-giving and altruistic than average. Many score higher than their biological parents on intelligence tests, and most grow into happier and more stable adults. In one Swedish study, children adopted as infants grew up with fewer problems than were experienced by children whose biological mothers initially registered them for adoption but then decided to raise the children themselves” (Meyers, 72)