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I’M Not Wife Material And I Don’T Care

If by “wife material” you mean a woman who makes sandwiches, cleans the house, and spends 3 hours in the kitchen cooking, then you’re damn right! I’m not wife material. I was not raised and cultivated to become a wife- that choice is mine to make. I was born to be a teacher, a doctor, a writer, or whatever I want to become. But no, I am not born to fit the unrealistic expectations of being a wife material.

I Am My Own Person

I am a highly driven woman who does not feel like I should change who I am to fit someone else’s ideals. I don’t want to create a false, unrealistic image just because I want to get married. I won’t crush my opinions and restrain my thoughts just to massage someone’s ego. That kind of behavior will not work in the long run.

I Am Independent And Headstrong

I don’t need my partner to provide for me. I make my own money, pay my bills, and smash cockroaches without screaming for a man to save me. I have a career, side jobs, and hobbies that don’t include a partner. I am capable of filling my calendar even if it means staying in on a Friday night with Netflix and pizza. Lastly, I don’t want to answer to anyone when I make expensive, impulsive purchases.

I’m Not Your Typical Girl

I know this sounds cliche, but I do not fit your ideal wife. I can’t make Instagram-worthy pancakes from scratch or make a perfectly cooked steak. I won’t serve you breakfast in bed because chances are, if it’s the weekend, I’m sleeping until noon. When you wake up next to me, you will see my mouth open, drooling, and with a hair like I’ve been sleeping outdoors.

I Believe That Marriage is Teamwork

Marriage requires team effort. Household responsibilities must be shared. I am all for cooking and dancing in the kitchen together. When I do get married, I will be more than his a wife. I will be my husband’s best friend, his support system, his partner in crime. I won’t be take on the role of being his mother or being his babysitter.

I Have No Unrealistic Expectations

Just as I am not a wife material, I don’t expect my partner to be “hubby material”. My husband don’t have to be the only one who brings home the bacon. I don’t want him to be the only one to support the family. We will both work together and have a feast every single day. I accept that there will be things that he’s better at than me and together, we will complement each other. There will always be two different roles in a relationship but these roles are flexible. They are ever-changing. I don’t want us to follow stereotypes just because it is what society considers as the norm.

I Don’t Want To Settle For Less

I’d rather stay unmarried than be with someone who makes me feel inferior. I don’t want a man who regards my passions and dreams to less important than his. I refuse to be with someone who expects me to quit my job because he thinks he can provide for the whole family. I won’t marry someone who tells me to stop having a life of my own after tying the knot with him.

I Do Not Aspire To Be a Wife Material

Aspiring to be wife material is totally damaging to women who already have to struggle with a society that dictates who they should be and what they should become. I don’t want to get wrapped up in this ideology. I’d rather focus my energy into something more substantial because I am capable of deciding what I want out of life. I don’t have to fit into a mold just to find a suitable match. I won’t destroy myself just because I want someone to marry me. For me to be in a happy, blissful marriage, my partner will have to accept all of me- faults and imperfections.

When I Take A Man

When I decide to marry someone, I will be with him through thick and thin. I will hold his hand through his darkest hour and celebrate with him during the brightest of his days. I will be there to protect, defend, and love him and I will allow him to do the same for me. To take a man to be my husband, I do not need to be wife material.

Where Does That Leave Me?

I can think of a thousand reasons why I am not wife material. But where does that leave me? Will I never be good enough for someone? Am I going to be single forever? Divorced after a few years of marriage? Until I meet someone who chooses to love me as I am instead of trying to dominate me or change me into someone I’m not, I won’t get married. With the limited scope some people define the roles of a wife, I’ll never be wife material and I don’t give a damn!

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