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An analysis of a student paper with unf writes rubrics

Analyzing papers with UNF Writes Rubrics set a very clear guideline for writing a paper. The rubrics include logic, mechanics(grammar,syntax, punctuation,and spelling), rhetorical awareness, and plain English style. After assessing a student paper based on these Rubrics it is apparent how well a paper or even how poorly a paper is written. The rubrics rate the essays on level of expertise, ranging from professional to unacceptable. Included in the levels are expert, skilled craftsperson, craftsperson and apprentice. This student paper,based on the UNF Writes Rubrics score, earns the grade of a C; the author reinforces the prompt and main idea but loses the audience in style and logic.

The student essay prompt stated to relate an epigraph or short quotation from Dr. Kimball’s essay to the student reading of the text. This student emphasized the idea of “self-talk” and a quote by Judith Butler. By stating this quote in the first paragraph the student leads the audience to think this is the topic essay, but instead loses track of this idea by the end of the second paragraph. In the second and third paragraphs the author writes about how self talk forms and changes a persons personality while in the opening paragraph the main idea is the “I” and where it comes from. By opening up more topics to the reader the authors logic received a two out of four, or apprentice craftsperson on the UNF Writes Rubric scale. According to the Self-Talk Rubric:Logic (Logical Coherence and Development), the essay logically connects some of the ideas to the thesis and uses transitional words. The essay does logically connect back to the original thesis by repeating the thought of the ‘I’ but the sentences are not cohesive with one another. The paper changes topics from sentence to sentence without bringing the old information back up. The lack of coherence and loss of focus equally decreased the writers grade on the logic portion.

Using the prompt of the essay the author chose the epigraph from Judith Butler about the story of the “I” to relate to the entire article. Using this prompt the student should have written about this quote to explain to the audience how it relates, instead the student loses the prompt in the second and third paragraphs by writing about other short stories such as an infant crawling away turning into a person that loves to travel. By the author writing about other epigraphs off topic from the original, the audience is left confused on the main idea. The author receives a Rhetorical Awareness grade of a two out of four. A two out of four on the Self-Talk Rubric: Rhetorical Awareness states the writing addresses the assignment prompt and audience expectations with minor exceptions. By the end of the paper the audience knows about the ‘I’ and the idea of self-talk but not exactly how they relate or which one is the main idea.

As for writing style in sentences, diction and tone the writer receives a UNF Writes Rubric score of two out of six, or apprentice craftsperson. This grade means the writing exhibits minor problems in sentences, diction and tone, and the language does not adhere to plain english standards. For example the student writes in first person throughout the paper, using words such as us, we, you and our. Along with the overuse of the first person the text has an unprofessional tone, using words such as ‘goes’ to explain what a quote said. In addition to the first person narrative and lack of professional tone the sentences are simplistic, all of these factors come together as work of an apprentice craftsperson.

For the fourth rubric on mechanics, which includes grammar, syntax, punctuation and spelling, the writer maintained a three out of six or a craftsperson. This means the writer was able to only have around two mechanics error on the page. The errors found were the use of sentence fragments in the first paragraph and wrong use of punctuation in the last. These errors do not affect the grade as much as the other rubrics because mechanics is weighed the least.

The author earned a C according to UNF Writes Rubrics on logic, rhetorical awareness, style and mechanics. The rubrics were weighed as the following: logic 30%, rhetorical awareness 30%, style 25% and mechanics 15%. From these weightings and the aforementioned level of expertise the student writes at a craftsperson level and received an average grade because of it.

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